Why Most Infjs Don'T Have A Group Of Friends explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
Introverted, private and often reluctant to
open up, it’s fair to say the INFJ personality
type isn’t the best at making close friends.
However, those aren’t the only reasons why
this individualistic personality type prefers to
keep their friends group to the minimum. In fact,
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Number 1: Social settings can play a major role
relationships is certainly an area of life
that most INFJs can find challenging. In fact,
social settings and the context in which an INFJ
meets new people can play a major role in how the
connection will flourish.. or on the contrary,
not flourish at all. In one sense, the INFJ must
feel comfortable enough to be themselves, which
usually requires a more intimate setting. Yet,
the biggest factor that setting and circumstance
affect the INFJ’s ability to make genuine friends
is repetition. For example, this personality type
is much more apt to make a friend through team
workplace settings where they have no choice but
to get to know someone a little more day after
day. While they much prefer to remain reserved,
teamwork makes socializing somewhat unavoidable
and inevitable, which is what the INFJ needs to
truly get to know someone, and to decipher whether
or not they’re able to let their guard down.
Number 2: They have extremely high expectations
Well.. let’s start by saying that INFJs themselves
don’t find their expectations to be considered
‘high’ at all. In fact, when it comes down to
it, the INFJ personality type requires the bare
minimum of common sense, mutual respect and shared
empathy through their friendships. However, still,
that seems difficult to come by. In fact, some
INFJs who would be considered to have multiple
friendships in their lives may still claim that
they don’t have any friends for the sole reason
of not being able to consider anyone ‘close’. This
all has to do with the requirements they set out
for the people they let in, and oftentimes, people
just don’t make the cut. Now, it’s not to say
that they’re overly judgmental of the people they
meet, but when it comes to putting their emotions,
free time and private life on the line, the guards
they put up can make them become overly picky.
INFJs are givers and they look for the same in
their friends. Despite enjoying their alone time,
once someone makes it into this personality type’s
inner circle, it’s fair to say that the INFJ will
do just about anything to help them out. Whether
it’s babysitting for a friend at the last minute,
taking over the tedious planning of an event, or
simply being the go-to person when someone needs
to vent, when the INFJ values someone enough,
they’re someone you want on your team. However,
these kind gestures only last as long as the INFJ
notices who’s there for them when they need it.
the fact that life circumstances call for
different levels of support and different
times, the independent INFJ needs someone
to lean on every now and then too. In fact, since
they’re usually overly reluctant to ask for help,
If there’s one contradicting notion that every
INFJ struggles with time and time again it would
have to be their mixed feelings of at times
preferring to be completely alone while also
not wanting to completely isolate themselves
from the world. In fact, the balance between
the two is one of this personality type’s biggest
concerns in life, especially when it comes to
maintaining friendships. This can be noticeable
when it comes to certain connections they have,
as they’re usually the ones to occasionally dodge
texts for days at a time, forget to return phone
calls and voicemails, and sometimes even cancel
plans at the last minute. Mostly rooted in their
naturally introverted nature, they don’t mean to
be this way, yet sometimes they can’t help it.
communication and hangouts for days-on-end,
the INFJ often presents a few quirks that need
to be overlooked. Luckily, the ones that get
it will take these perceived negatives for
the loyalty and empathy they give in return.
Similar to the INFJ’s high-set expectations
for themselves and the people they allow into
Despite it taking simple genuineness, consistency
and time to allow the INFJ to open up, a lot of
the time it can take longer than most people
are willing to wait for. For some connections,
this personality type may take months to years
before trusting someone to the point of allowing
themselves to truly let loose. Contrary to their
interest in other people’s emotional vulnerability
and depth to their personalities, INFJs aren’t
all that willing to share about themselves. Not
only does this require a lot of patience on the
other end of the friendship, but it also requires
serious emotional understanding to not take
offense by it. Because, as the INFJ analyzes and
tests the waters within a new connection, their
uptight and unwillingness can become noticeable.
This perceived discomfort that may linger
past the point of getting to know someone
can end up causing the INFJ to seem as if
they’re keeping something from that person.
When it comes to the INFJ and how they perceive
other people, it’s fair to say that not all red
detector in different scenarios, some people
with this personality type may consider some
things to be suspicious that others would easily
overlook. When INFJs go through their checklist of
whether or not they could see themselves actually
befriending someone, the first thing that they
rely on is the unspoken vibes that person emits.
This means that if they don’t exactly line up,
INFJs may conclude that the connection wouldn’t
work, regardless of other’s opinions. Usually,
if the chemistry isn’t there, this type will
write the acquaintance off for the fact that
there’s something they just can’t put their finger
on. Aside from this introverted intuitive radar,
there’s also the noticeable red flags that the
INFJ can’t turn a blind eye to. Things like close
mindedness, victim mentality, and passive
aggressiveness being some of the top few.
A big reason as to why the INFJ feels ‘distant’
from others often has to do with the fact that
they are considered one of the rarest and often
most misunderstood types of the MBTI. With complex
ideologies, extremely high morals, and the ability
to see most things in life from all angles,
people who are stuck in their ways. In fact,
sharing their thoughts with someone else.
Usually, before even testing the waters, this
observative type uses their extroverted sensing
and introverted intuition to ‘feel’ someone out.
They may consciously observe a new acquaintance
within social settings before contributing to the
conversation by any means. This often results in
the INFJ taking the back seat as the listening
ear rather than the conversation coordinator;
meaning they don’t seem all that approachable.
Despite the INFJ’s rather chameleon-like nature
when it comes to fitting into different social
groups and understanding opposite viewpoints,
INFJs are rarely the life of the party. Like we
said, when it comes to new environments with new
people, they much prefer to remain highly alert to
the words, gestures, body language and attitudes
others project. Rather than feeling comfortable
enough to show the genuine extroverted side that
lays dormant inside of them, they can either
remain in their introversion or have to constantly
resort to up-keeping a false facade. And so,
most of the time they choose to be the analysers,
the perceivers and the extroverted feelers of
their social environments. Allowing only the
lucky few that sense the ‘deep waters’ behind
their quiet nature to truly see who they are at
the core. But only if they have the patience!
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today.. So, let
us know in the comments below how many people
in your life you would consider ‘close’ friends
as an INFJ. Also, make sure to leave us a like,
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