Seriously Toxic Habits Of The Self Destructive Infj explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
and self loathing. In fact, it’s a natural
part of the human experience. However, for
the perfectionistic and introspective INFJ,
personality type can be downright self-abusive
at times, but is this relatable for every INFJ?
Welcome or welcome back Psych-o! Today we’ll
be discussing the 8 toxic habits of the self
destructive INFJ. Before we start, have you liked
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It may sound funny to some INFJs, because just the
thought of being bombarded by too many people’s
issues sounds like an INFJs worst nightmare.
However, for an INFJ who is under the veil of
self-destructive behavior, focusing on other
people’s issues can feel like an escape from
their own problems. For some INFJs this may look
like putting in unnecessary extra hours at work
to avoid being alone in their feelings or even
seeking out people in need of someone to vent to.
If this habit goes on for long enough, before
they know it, the INFJ will have accumulated
so many obligations to run from the real problems
that they hit a wall. The wall we all know as INFJ
burnout. Sure, it doesn’t seem too problemsome
to help others when feeling self-destructive,
but nobody can run from their feelings, and
sooner or later the INFJ learns that the hard way.
Number 2: Unnecessarily High Self Expectations
INFJs are faced with a lot of pressures in
life, as most of us are. Being an introvert
in an extroverted world, keeping up with societal
pressures of success and competition, and being
guided by intuition rather than logic can all
change how the INFJ feels in their everyday lives.
However, above all of these pressures and
for this personality type than the extremely
high expectations they set out for themselves.
Call it perfectionism, or people-pleasing, there’s
no doubt that almost all INFJs are high-achieving
and ambitious in all areas of their lives. And
although this can actually act as a healthy
trait for INFJs that utilize their high-standards
properly, in the mind of a self-sabotaging INFJ,
the root cause of this perfectionist nature
rather than the motivation to be the best version
of themselves.The combination of a hard working
nature and dissatisfaction for achievements
sets the ultimate recipe for self sabotage,
and the INFJ above all other personality types
know this feeling like the back of their hand.
Most INFJs don’t know what they're capable of,
and it’s not just because they’re humble. In fact,
most people with the INFJ personality type
can agree that they don’t reward or praise
themselves for their achievements. Being so
fixated on future outcomes and potentials,
can quickly convince themselves that they haven’t
achieved much. This is the exact self-destructive
self-talk of being unworthy, not good enough,
and incapable of achieving the bigger goals
INFJs ultimately envision for themselves.
By unfairly comparing themselves and their
achievements with those that have more experience,
INFJ self-criticisms become too loud to allow
any other feedback in. Whether it’s pertaining
to careers, romance, self-worth, a new hobby,
you name it.. Anyone with this analytical
personality type won’t escape their negative
self-view without first shining a light on it.
Number 4: Avoiding Human Connection & Help
There are no walls built higher than that of
people who feel constantly misunderstood,
but they’re also incredibly good at masking
these walls, making others think they know
them when really all they know is the front
the INFJ strategically puts on. And while this
serves the INFJ well when it comes to protecting
their highly-sensitive emotion-absorbing nature,
it can also be taken too far. So far that it
can be considered a self-destructive tactic.
For this type of self-sabotage, the walls the
INFJ stands behind are rooted in the terrifying
feeling of appearing vulnerable and ultimately
getting hurt or used as a result. INFJs know
they are incredibly sensitive creatures, from the
smallest set backs, to life-changing betrayals.
When INFJs hurt, they really hurt, and tend to
ruminate for much longer than necessary. Yet,
as a result of avoiding triggers all together,
this tactic ends up leading the INFJ further
away from the friendships, relationships, and new
experiences they ultimately need in their lives.
Number 5: The Need To Control Beyond Measure
controlling uptight nature, and their desire to
watch life play out on it’s own. But for an INFJ
who feels a loss of control in life, it can be
difficult for them to navigate in life without
knowing what’s going to happen, when it’s going to
happen, and how it’s going to be made to happen.
stepping out of their own way and allowing
life to flow amid uncertainty can make them
feel panicky. So many what ifs.. So much guilt
if something were to go wrong.. Spontaneity
and last minute changes can seriously stress
an unstable INFJ out, and so the need for
control becomes all that much more apparent.
Simple habits like obsessing over to-do lists,
overstepping controlling boundaries with their
loved ones, micromanaging at work, and poking
their nose in other people’s business all leaves
little room to actually enjoy the unexpected
Number 6: They Get Stuck In A Cycle Of Analyzation
A big part of an INFJs controlling nature is
their overly analytical sense of direction.
This introspective personality type spends
questioning and ruminating about many aspects of
life. And although it allows them to understand
things on a deep, complex level, it can have a
different effect on INFJs that are in a rut of
self-sabotaging tendencies. While most people with
this type have difficulty taking things for face
value, such as love and achievements, when the
INFJ becomes stuck in a cycle of over-analyzing
it can debilitate them from taking any direction
at all. For example, instead of an INFJ excitedly
accepting the job offer that they’ve applied
for, they may be flooded with thoughts such as
“Was this really the right move for me?”, “Did I
even consider the commute time?” “Why did I even
leave my other job in the first place?”, “Does
this position fit with my morals and values”?,
Instead of celebrating their new opportunity
as a level-headed INFJ would, a destructive
INFJ will begin to poke holes in the idea as
means of further controlling the situation.
According to Psychologyjunky.com, INFJs are
naturally out of touch with their physical bodies
because of their inferior extraverted sensing
since it’s the INFJs least-conscious function
they can have a particularly difficult time
discerning their body’s cues. Whether it has
to do with hunger, hydration, or exhaustion,
INFJs can slip into a self-destructive cycle
of physical neglect without even realizing
or under-eating and strict food rules. Yet,
getting poor sleep, maintaining a sporadic
to toxic substances are all examples of an INFJs
grip-stress sensing function making an appearance.
As we mentioned, INFJs have a vast and rich
inner world made up of all the things they
truly desire in life, and although they’re
able to put some of these dreams into action,
the destructive INFJ personality can struggle with
serious disappointments from people and situations
INFJs can paint an optimistic expectation
of an event, new partnership or new career
change only to find themselves disappointed to
some degree. Not only does this make it less
enticing to follow their elaborate dreams, but it
can also trigger a self-sabotaging INFJ to spiral
into a thought process of certain aspects of life
just not being worth pursuing. And once they’ve
convinced themselves of it, it can take some
serious self-reflection to unwind those beliefs.
Well, that's it for today’s video, PSYCH-Os!
Let us know in the comments below if you have
any of these habits as an INFJ, or if you’ve
seen them present in an INFJ in your life.
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