Why Are Infjs Such Control Freaks explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
While it may be difficult for them to admit,
from their surroundings. In fact, without
a certain level of control, this normally
calm and collected type can become.. Well,
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Alright, let’s get right into it, starting with..
To put this first reason in simple terms.. INFJs
need control over the things they can control in
order to cope with the things they can’t control.
With such deep and complex understandings of the
world around them, this personality type is
hit with the hard truth at a very early age
that life is unpredictable, unfair, and doesn’t
always budge when you try to change its course.
The INFJ has learned just how it feels to be
helpless in a world of cruelty and injustice
since they were children. In fact, through their
extroverted feeling function and empathy that
causes them to feel the emotions of others on
a far deeper level, this sense of powerlessness
is experienced much more intensely compared to
the average person. And so, by navigating life
with this buried sense of hopelessness for the
uncontrollable, INFJs subconsciously cling onto
the aspects of their life that they are able
to influence in one way or another. Of course,
this isn’t always a healthy coping mechanism per
se, but it does provide them a sense of peace
that they aren’t able to find elsewhere..
In the perspective of the freedom-loving INFJ
personality type, being considered controlling is
far better than even being controlled themselves.
For, one of the main reasons INFJs show up with a
boss-like attitude is for the simple fact that
they don’t want to necessarily comply with the
rules set out should that role be assigned
to someone else. INFJs like others to know
that they’ve got it covered and that they’re
willing to take the necessary steps to lead
everyone to success. Whether this is within
a work, family or friendship dynamic, INFJs
want to be able to utilize their problem-solving
skills and future-predicting abilities so that
they know for sure that things are adding
this is why this capable personality type is
constantly trying to prove to others just how
dependable they truly are; they can’t succumb to
the possibility of having to conform to opinions,
rules and solutions that they ultimately don’t
agree with. Which brings us to our next point..
which is something that most INFJs can relate to
on different levels. Psychology today explains:
“Driven by a deep-seated belief of unworthiness
or inadequacy, individuals may strive for
perfection as a way to counteract or conceal their
perceived flaws and vulnerabilities.” While for
some INFJs this may in fact play a significant
factor in their perfectionistic tendencies,
their dominant introverted intuitive function may
also play a role. Providing them with continuously
growing deep insights and strong visions for the
future, they are constantly striving to align
their actions and creations with their inner
vision. This constant attempt at merging their
inner world with their outer reality ultimately
leads them to strive for a perfection that may
only be attainable within the confinement
of their own imagination. Not to mention,
the introspection that comes as a result of this
cognitive function also leads them to constantly
evaluate and improve their work, making it near
impossible to be satisfied with their own results.
Number 4: They have an innate fear of failure
Speaking of perfectionism, this idealist can’t
fathom the thought of failing. Self-critical
by nature, this personality type is always
thinking of the best way forward; a way that
will not only satisfy them but also everyone
they are secretly seeking approval from. Ya,
ya we get it.. you INFJs may be thinking to
yourselves “Seeking approval from others!? Not
me..” And for some mature INFJs this may be true.
But in reality, most people with this ruminating
personality type can’t help but to try their best
to achieve certain milestones in life that will
make those they look up to proud. Sure, they may
happily own being the black sheep of their family,
but they can’t imagine the self-hatred that would
come with being the failure of their family. They
can’t imagine disappointing their family,
friends, or spouse to the point that they
burden them with the responsibility of pulling
them out of the hole they dug themselves into.
They’re always subconsciously wondering what
people think of them, their choices and their
accomplishments. And while others' opinions
wouldn’t necessarily change their approach to
life, it’s within this constant rumination that
they try to control the success of their lives.
Known to be the go-to person for their loved
ones in times of mental or emotional disarray,
this type earned themselves the name of the
‘counselor’ personality of the MBTI for a
reason. In a protective way, INFJs are always
looking to put out the flame, calm the storm,
and appease anyone in distress. In fact, this
is such a natural instinct of theirs that just
having their presence in the room normally has
a calming effect on anyone involved. The reason
INFJs are able to maintain such a demeanor
understand where things went wrong. Within just
a mere few minutes of observing a conversation,
INFJs can calculate where both parties are coming
from, what factors contributed to their cause,
and the best way forward. They take control of
situations that nobody wants to or is able to take
control over because they are amazing at providing
a middle-ground point of view. They use their
logical minds to mediate the situation while their
empathy and sympathy provide it’s calming effects.
Providing free counseling services to friends
and family sounds exhausting.. So why are INFJs
so quick to offer their insights and mediation?
Well, when INFJs sense disharmony within their
surroundings, they ultimately can’t look away.
They are constantly striving for harmony within
imagine that a fair amount to control would
prevent conflicts, maintain peace, and have
everyone around them holding hands and singing
‘kumbaya’, it’s just not the case. However,
that doesn’t stop the INFJ and their controlling
ways, as striving for harmony and balance in a
chaotic world is like maintaining a full-time
job. A job that they can’t quit if they want
to feel mentally at ease. And this brings us to
our last and possibly our most important point..
their emotional side. Known to be reserved
when it comes to displaying emotions towards
others, this type has been named emotionless,
inexpressive and passive when interacting within
some of their social connections. However,
the reality is that the INFJ personality type
invests in their relationships and endeavors
whole-heartedly. Although it may take them a
while to get warmed up to people and projects,
once they’re hooked, they undoubtedly give
it their all. This emotional investment is
of course necessary, yet it can also serve to
be a major contributing factor to their rather
controlling approach. Once the INFJ really cares
about something, they become far more inclined
to try and control its trajectory. This attempt
of controlling outcomes is not only their way of
showing that they actually care, but it’s their
way of avoiding their own emotional distress.
For if something were to happen beyond their
control, they would at least be able to tell
there’s a fine line between this approach
being effective and it backfiring completely.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today.. So, as an
INFJ, do you think others would consider you a
control freak? Let us know in the comments
below. Also, make sure to leave us a like,
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