What'S The Real Reason Why Infjs Are So Secretive explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
Like a fine wine, an INFJ’s true personality and
beauty comes to surface over time, and only for
the right people. In fact, they say no matter how
long you’ve known someone with this personality
type, you never really know them. So.. is this
done intentionally? Do INFJs have something to
hide or does their secretive nature compensate
for their difficulty in setting boundaries?
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Number 1: They use secrecy as a defense mechanism
Depending on the situation and the surrounding
energies of the environment, INFJs can sometimes
come off as a little cold and aloof. However,
the reality of the matter is that they tend to
subconsciously put up this external barrier
to hide their deeper, more sensitive nature.
this is most true when facing the challenge of
observing new environments and meeting new people.
busy analyzing new behaviors, body language,
and surroundings, all while subconsciously
taking on the energies of the people around them,
sharing anything about themselves becomes
their last priority. Plus, they much rather
understand someone else on a deeper level than
to feel exposed in any way, which brings us to..
Confidentiality, professionalism and all, INFJs
are the original on-demand therapists of the MBTI
community. Without even realizing it, they can
sense the need for an open ear or a shoulder to
cry on (from a distance of course.. never enter
the INFJ’s personal bubble). All jokes aside,
this naturally empathetic type tends to not only
sense when someone needs a therapeutic moment with
their understanding energy, but they can’t help
but to try and make it the safest possible place
for that individual to feel comfortable. The
ironic thing is that since INFJs tend to take
the back-seat of the conversation, some people
will automatically view them as having no issues
themselves. And of course the honest INFJ doesn’t
want to portray a false narrative through their
silence. However, when they choose to not discuss
their own struggles, people seem to feel as if
they're in more stable hands. It’s as if they
subconsciously feel more at ease knowing the
information isn’t over-burdening the receiver. And
so, the INFJ resorts to keeping their mouth closed
about their own lives and their ears wide open
to really understand the experiences of others.
Number 3: They often contradict themselves
If you know anything about the INFJ personality
type, one thing that’s for sure is that they are
known to be one of the most contradicting types.
Often referred to as a walking contradiction,
the INFJ’s sense of reasoning and understanding
has many facets, with some often contradicting
others. A prime example of this would be their
constant dilemma between needing to socialize
with humanity and needing solitude. Or that they
tend to have a noticeably old soul, yet an even
deeper child-like fascination that puts their wise
logic to shame. An INFJ’s paradoxical nature makes
it difficult for them to say simple statements
without elaborating in great detail. Nothing is
ever cut and dry or black and white. Heck, their
conclusions are rarely even conclusive. Everything
an INFJ thinks about or attempts to come to terms
with just results in surfacing deeper questions.
And so, sometimes it’s easiest for this type to
not even get into their opinions, especially if
they fear they may freak someone out or come
across as a hypocrite. Which brings us to..
Number 4: They seriously fear being misunderstood
The one thing every INFJ seeks out in the people
they feel called to confide in is an open-mind.
this already reluctant type requires a clear
no-judgment zone in order to feel even remotely
conformable. And since this is quite a lot to
ask of the average person, keeping private
is usually the easier route to take. Because
INFJs use their dominant function, introverted
intuition, as their main decision making factor,
they often choose intuitive hunches over lack of
physical evidence. And since intuition is not only
seriously unpredictable, but also unexplainable.
Sometimes to the point of not even understanding
it themselves. So, whether they’re taken for a
hypocrite, a boaster, a weirdo, less intelligent
than they really are, or the worst of it all,
impolite.. The INFJ knows there’s a fine line
between actually getting across what they want
to say and screwing it all up in the process.
So, we’ve explained the point of INFJs fear
being misunderstood, yet contradictingly,
they seem to also fear being understood. What
would it be like for someone to really understand
them? Would it feel violating? Because INFJs are
so familiar with not relating to others and others
not relating to them, they become convinced that
their approach to life is absolutely taboo. They
know if they share what’s actually on their
One redditor explained this perfectly by saying
“Secrecy is such a natural thing for me. One
example would be I haven’t told my parents
or friends I’m learning another language just
because it feels like it’s not worth the hassle
and I’d just rather do everything on my own.”
Number 6: They can’t freely speak about themselves
Introverted and considerably humble, the INFJ
simply hates talking about themselves. And so,
although some facts, inner thoughts and opinions
may rise to the surface on occasion, you’ll rarely
hear an INFJ repeat a story about themselves. In
fact, when it comes to talking about themselves or
even a specific situation, the first question an
INFJ asks is “what do you want to know?” Whether
it’s about their latest projects, a new job,
or anything else that most people would happily
dive into explaining. The INFJ won’t open up
with free-range. They need specifics because
they genuinely don’t know what people care to
know, and the last thing they want to do is talk
someone’s ear off about themselves. On the rare
occasion, the roles are reversed, where the INFJ
does take on the role of ‘sharer’ rather than
‘listener’. And almost everytime this happens
they end up really regretting oversharing, even
if they’ve only shared the slightest of details.
Speaking of needing prompts and questioning to
freely talk about themselves, the one who asks
the most questions tends to be the one who gets
to know the INFJ the fastest. Because of their
big-picture view, they have a tendency of leaving
out certain details without even realizing it.
Someone who can dissect those vague answers
are the ones that usually get the INFJ to
spill. However, there’s some rules to this
because INFJs can easily shut down if they
seat. Another rule would be genuinity. If
there are ingenuine questions being asked
just for the sake of making conversation,
mile away.. and will then act accordingly.
Gentle prompting and appropriate curiosities is
the way to go. In fact, a good conversationalist
can really help the INFJ feel less secretive
themselves. Because as much as they’re considered
an overly-private personality, there are probably
some things they’re just forgetting to share.
way of living can seem secretive. They tend to
have some social habits that can seem rather
wonder why they seem so outgoing and friendly at
work, but never want to meet up afterwards. Or
why they finally showed up to a work-function
but want to leave considerably early..People
may wonder why it takes the INFJ so long to
answer texts or why they always let their
phone go to voicemail. Simple little things that
allow this sensory-sensitive type some space for
their highly-nagging need for solitude can seem
very suspicious to some people. When in reality,
secretive, mysterious, or disinterested. But
in fact, they must hold some level of distance
and don’t really know how to explain why.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today’s video.. So,
if you’re an INFJ, would you consider yourself to
be a secretive person? Let us know in the comments
below.. Also, make sure to leave us a like,
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