Why All Infj Men Feel Invisible & Overlooked explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
the fringes of society, the INFJ man isn’t
the type to want any sort of extra attention.
Individualistic and free-spirited at heart, this
type of man is okay with witnessing life behind
the scenes, yet when it comes to being completely
overlooked by others, they may start to question
if something is seriously wrong with them..
Welcome or welcome back PSYCH-Os! Before we get
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Alright, let’s get right into it, starting with..
The first and most unfortunate reason why
most INFJ men feel overlooked in society is
because it’s true. Have you ever been at a party
with a friend or partner and realize that people
gravitate to greeting them while completely
ignoring your presence? Does being talked over,
interrupted or disregarded sound familiar? Or
maybe you’re often bumped into with complete
disregard that you were even there? Well, you’re
certainly not alone.. And unfortunately, it’s not
exactly an uncommon relatable phenomenon amongst
the INFJ male population. In fact, it’s fair to
say that although it would be easier and more
comfortable to convince otherwise, these feelings
of going unnoticed by others isn’t all in their
heads. They really are some of the less noticeable
members of society, and sometimes for good
reason. However, while it may seem to the INFJ
man as if they’re walking around with some sort of
invisibility cloak, there are certain aspects of
their personality that when noticed, could easily
be changed in times where they want to be seen.
Number 2: They learned how to go unnoticed
It only takes a certain amount of weird looks,
confusing follow-up comments and unkind laughter
for the INFJ man to realize that maybe they don’t
think in the same way as others. At an early age,
their imaginative and introspective perspectives
being surrounded by children whose imaginations
are at their peak. However, slowly but surely,
year by year, most INFJ boys build up this
defense mechanism by preferring to not share
their insights to their peers. They realize
through the conversations and interests of
making it much safer to go unnoticed than to be
called out for this contrast. They learn to take
the backseat in most conversations, observing how
others act, what they talk about and how they fit
in so seamlessly. They become familiar with the
benefits that come with being the observer rather
than the one being observed. This ultimately
results in the choice of being rather invisible
to others, as being noticed becomes more and more
uncomfortable. Which brings us to our next point..
Feeling safe is a major player in the INFJ’s
invisibility mechanism. While some of this
was brought on by their unique perspectives and
the fear of not being understood by their peers,
home life can also be to blame. For many INFJ
men, their upbringing and family dynamic may
have instilled a belief that their problems were
insignificant in comparison to the bigger issues
their family was facing. Whether it was parental
divorce, a troubled sibling, a family death,
addictions, financial issues, or anything else
that ultimately gained a tighter and tighter
grip of the family's attention. The INFJ little
boy who was brushed off in the most crucial years
eventually came to understand that their struggles
and wins were better off not being discussed by
those around them. With the hopes of not burdening
their family any more than they already are,
the INFJ man learned to take it upon themselves to
go unnoticed, a tactic that ultimately turned into
a deep-set belief that they carry into adulthood.
A perfect recipe for the conflict-avoidant INFJ.
With observation comes introspection..and
for the INFJ man, both of these life-long
habits contribute to their unnoticed presence.
With constant deep thinking and reflection,
it becomes inherent that maintaining a social life
just isn’t one of their main priorities. As we’ve
said before, INFJs of any gender usually don’t
enjoy small talk or superficial conversations.
In fact, if the topic of conversation isn’t
introspective or contributing to their thirst
for knowledge in any way, it’s fair to say that
they much rather just spend their time conversing
with the vastness of their own thoughts. Of
course, this alone doesn’t help their case
of being overlooked by others, as they’re not
the go-to conversationalists for most people
in their lives. However, when an INFJ man finds
someone who is on the same wavelength as them,
socializing doesn’t hold the same dread as it
usually does. Not to mention, when someone finds
the INFJ’s mind as fascinating as it is, they
become noticed, or at times even infatuated with.
With extroverted feeling fueling their innate
empathetic outlook, the INFJ man is known for
their sheer selflessness. Known to be one
of the more caring male personality types,
INFJ men have a noticeable sensitivity towards
others and their emotions that allow him a better
understanding of just how their mind works.
They can’t help but to see the best in people,
and even when the best is hard to find, the INFJ
man manages to see through the noticeable struggle
in order to focus on one’s potential. While you
may be thinking that such a compassionate human
caring behavior..the opposite is actually
true. Since this type of man is so focused
they tend to take the position of therapist to
most people in their lives. They’re always there
for other people, but when it comes to sharing
their own current struggles and challenges,
it doesn’t come as easily. Despite possibly having
people in their life who would willingly listen,
opening up is not exactly a strength of the
INFJ man. They avoid burdening others with
their feelings, and as a result, often end
up feeling unnoticed and even uncared for.
With empathy at play, the caring INFJ man never
wants to come across as being aggressive or rude.
While this is a good general rule of thumb
when it comes to being a considerate human,
taking the passive route can often lead to
being walked over and dismissed by others.
By avoiding conflicts and arguments by preferring
to stay quiet, they come across as either
snobbish, timid or uninterested. Although they may
gain a certain level of respect for demonstrating
their laid-back, people-pleasing nature, it
certainly doesn’t go as far as communicating
what they think. In fact, while their aura of
mystery sometimes draws people’s attention,
it’s in their communication style (or lack of)
that tells people they’re not worth paying any
attention to. In fact, they say that life for the
INFJ man is much more challenging than that of the
INFJ woman for this exact reason, the expectation
to be (quote on quote) “masculine” by nature.
Of course, most of the INFJ man’s brilliance is
configured within the facets of their own mind,
boundaries, and demonstrate a certain level of
self-assurance, they have nothing to show for it.
the INFJ man is actually able to come across as
much more out-going than they really are. They
don’t always go unnoticed simply because they’re
too busy twiddling their thumbs, watching people
socialize from the sidelines. In fact, their
ability to utilize their extroverted feeling
and sensing to adjust their social approach may
just be the very reason they go unnoticed in
most social outings. For example, if the INFJ
man who is normally reserved and observant,
attends a gathering of outgoing individuals,
they could easily switch on their up-beat,
talkative attitude if they desired. To avoid
being the center of attention by not fitting in,
INFJ men eventually develop a very effective
way of going unnoticed by whichever type of
group they come up against. As a matter of fact,
it becomes a completely subconscious performance,
one that after years of practice, goes completely
unnoticed by the INFJ and everyone around them.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today.. So, do you
often feel invisible as an INFJ man when it comes
to your presence within society? Let us know in
the comments below. Also, make sure to leave us
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