What It'S Really Like To Be An Infj With Bpd explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
With a combination of unique and often challenging
mental abilities, there’s something eerie when it
comes to the INFJ personality type struggling
with mental or personality disorders. A rare,
yet possible example of this would be an INFJ
with borderline personality disorder.. So,
what exactly would that look like and how would
their traits differ from your average INFJ?
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Alright, let’s get right into it, starting with..
So, what exactly is borderline personality
disorder in the first place? Well, according
to the National Institutes Of Health, “Borderline
personality disorder (also known as BPD) is a
mental illness that severely impacts a person's
ability to manage their emotions. This loss of
emotional control can increase impulsivity,
affect how a person feels about themselves,
and negatively impact their relationships with
others.” One of the widely experienced and
reported traits of this disorder is the feeling
of self-lack and the inability to fill an internal
void. When it comes to the borderline INFJ, this
is unfortunately still the case. While every INFJ
goes through their own experiences of loneliness,
feeling misunderstood and wanting to self-isolate,
and more often. In fact, while the INFJ may
have occasional bouts of these struggles,
someone with this personality type in combination
with borderline personality disorder is lucky when
they have temporary relief from these continual
thoughts. Like an itch they can’t scratch, a void
they can’t fill, and a looming sense of doom,
some form of depression is usually inevitable.
Speaking of that void, another notorious trait
of borderline personality disorder lies within
clinging onto things and people that ease their
emptiness temporarily. For the INFJ with BPD,
their usual independent and free-spirited selves
can become fogged with their desperation to cling
onto certain friends, partners and family
members. Despite longing for their freedom,
the borderline INFJ can’t help but to grip
less alone. They want to feel worthy of love and
attention, so by keeping someone extremely close,
they experience a sense of temporary relief,
despite the unhealthy tactics they take to keep it
that way. The most difficult aspect of this habit
is that it causes them to overlook the amount of
toxicity that is present in these relationships.
To the INFJ with BPD, door slams are rarely the
case because nothing is worse than the feelings
that would emerge should they lose their favorite
person. And even if that individual decides
to eventually pull the plug on the connection
for their own mental and emotional sanity,
the INFJ under the influence of BPD thoughts
will successfully manipulate their way back into
the connection..bringing us to the next point..
Number 3: Their intuition and extroverted
Emotional manipulation is one of, if not the most
challenging aspects of dealing with someone with
borderline personality disorder. However, with
evil-genius level mind games and their ability
to convincingly reframe any situation, an INFJ
with BPD naturally uses their understanding of
the human mind to their advantage. Utilizing
their ability to pick up on the slightest
changes to mood and feelings, the borderline
INFJ is always a few steps ahead of their
opponent. With a mix between genuine empathy and
their need to take the blame off of themselves,
being in a connection with a borderline INFJ
is an intense Dr.Jeckle and Mr.Hyde situation.
this borderline personality type is notorious
for lashing out, and then immediately playing
‘nice guy’. Like a flick of switch, their demeanor
can go from blame to apology, self-confidence to
self-deprecation, motivation to depression. Before
being given the chance to process what’s going on,
the person witnessing an INFJ BPD mood switch
is caught by surprise at their new attitude.
For the average person struggling with any
it’s said that one of the most noticeable
difficulties they have is related to their
inability to see where they went wrong. They
have a habit of turning the other way when it
comes to taking accountability due to their
emotional immaturity. However, for the INFJ
who is known for their self-awareness, especially
when it comes to their weaknesses, their social
and relational challenges are very apparent. While
most people with BPD prefer to play a victim role,
a borderline personality disordered INFJ can
see exactly where they went wrong. While this
can save them from some difficulties that
come with having this personality disorder,
cause the INFJ’s innate self-critical mindset
to increase ten-folds, but as time goes on,
they remain unable to learn from their lessons -
a crucial process in the INFJ’s overall maturity.
With the natural habit of analyzing where they
themselves went wrong, the borderline INFJ has a
hard time pointing the finger. A classic BPD sign,
shifting the blame on others is actually known to
be a form of self-protection against feelings
of unworthiness. Despite possibly realizing
where they went wrong within a situation, most
people with borderline personality disorder tend
and past experiences to find arguments to
back up their case. To save themselves from
the overwhelming guilt and self-deprecation,
they try to convince themselves and others that
their doings weren’t the cause of the upheaval.
For the BPD INFJ however, this process makes
it all the more challenging. Because of their
extroverted feeling function which instantly
absorbs the feelings of others, this habit of
shifting the blame always comes to bite them in
the but later down the line. INFJs are usually
great at taking accountability, so accusing
others comes inevitably triggers the guilt,
shame and self-deprecation that they were
Cool as a cucumber, it’s hard to believe that
anyone with this personality type can be affected
with something to the point of taking this trait
away from them. However, for the borderline INFJ,
it’s often what happens. With the inability
to self-regulate their emotional equilibrium,
the INFJ who suffers from borderline personality
disorder can feel completely out of control of
be challenging in itself, however, with the
ability to pick up on the feelings of others,
the BPD INFJ can be deeply affected by the
emotional out-put of others. Whether it’s someone
expressing their own anger towards an INFJ, or
they simply feel an energy drop in the room,
hot and powerful anger can bubble up in the
matter of minutes. And once they’re there,
For the average INFJ, making new friends and
settling for romantic relationships are no walk in
the park. However, with BPD added to the mix, they
become nearly impossible. Well actually, because
of their heightened need for relying on another
for personal satisfaction and emotional stability,
the search for connection is actually much more
apparent for borderline INFJs. Nevertheless,
the quantity of connections is greatly impacted
by the toxic quality of the connection. While
the average INFJ is looking for someone they
can share a genuine loving connection with,
personal. It’s much more difficult for them
to be on their own due to the constant downward
spirals they experience. Their mood swings,
issues, and impulsive behaviors ultimately
leave their loved ones feeling helpless, off
kilter, and even emotionally abused. This is
what makes professional help so important
for BPD sufferers of any personality type.
it’s fair to say that any INFJ who would be
diagnosed with this mental challenge would
feel extremely hurt. Deep down, all INFJs have
an empathy that radiates far beyond any mental,
emotional and personality disorder. The BPD
INFJ is far from evil, and is instead, deeply
suffering due to the mental haze of negativity,
low self worth and sadness that affects their
day-to-day lives. The average INFJ with all
of their challenges has no idea what it would
be like to struggle with something that makes the
good parts of their personality not as noticeable
or powerful. Being an INFJ can be tough, but
being a borderline INFJ can feel unbearable.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today.. So, do you
think an INFJ with BPD noticeably differs from
the average INFJ? Let us know in the comments
below! Also, make sure to leave us a like,
our channel so that you never miss a video!
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