This One Thing Holds All Infjs Back In Life explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
Self-sabotage is nothing new to the INFJ personality
type, especially when it comes to their perfectionistic
Yet, what is it that lies underneath this
Well.. to put it simply, it’s within their
very idealistic tendencies that ultimately
hold most INFJs back from achieving their
best and flourishing into their most happy
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Number 1: It takes away from their precious
If there’s one quality the INFJ prides themselves
on it’s their ability to remain open-minded
no matter the information or situation thrown
With a deep interest in human behavior and
help but to see things from multiple angles,
and even through the different lenses of other’s
This neutral and accepting attitude enables
the INFJ to not only think critically but
also allows them to maintain a rationality
However, when idealism comes knocking, this
openness quickly dissipates into the abyss
Not only do their habitually high expectations
placed on themselves and others add a fogginess
to their viewpoints but it can actually take
away from the charming unbiased approach that
nature to go out of their way to necessarily
their idealistic viewpoints can make others
wonder if they're as rational as they set
Number 2: They can become depressed at unmet
Whether it has to do with someone in an INFJ’s
life who has the prospects of doing better
for themselves or the larger picture view
of humanity and its capacity for a much more
loving and inclusive collective experience,
the INFJ can become seriously affected by
Through their well-rounded viewpoints and
their ability to vividly imagine all the good
that comes from people reaching their unforeseen
potential, INFJs can end up falling into a
deep sadness when witnessing the doubts, trauma
and self-sabotage that others fall victim
Ironically, through their extroverted feeling
function, INFJs can actually take on this
noted lost potential, ultimately draining
themselves of their motivation in the process.
If it weren't for their extremely loud and
demanding self-expectations, this witnessing
capacity would take over the INFJ completely
Number 3: They are constantly battling with
Of course, a huge part of struggling with
idealism is the simple fact that it’s difficult
for the INFJ to see past just how ‘perfect’
In fact, this is the very root of any one
part being the difficulty of taking life at
With the INFJ personality type this idealism
holds them back in many ways, but one of the
most important is by means of taking up so
Through their introverted intuition the INFJ
is constantly ruminating not only about why
things are the way they are but also why things
can’t be better, or at least different in
They are constantly torn between accepting
the beauty that comes with dysfunction and
portraying their at-times judgmental viewpoints
This constant internal babble takes away from
the more creative, efficient and magical places
Number 4: They set themselves up for failure
Aside from the overly distracting mental chatter
caused by idealistic tendencies, INFJs often
set themselves up for failure in ways that
they wouldn’t notice even if someone were
While a subtle undercurrent of idealism is
crucial for humans to feel driven to better
themselves and their surroundings, too much
of this expectation can be the root of destruction
For the INFJ who is constantly analyzing their
lives, sometimes in a harsh and self-degrading
manner, they can actually end up thinking
they’re taking 1 step forward only to find
they already have in hopes that the grass
is greener on the other side only to learn
the harsh lesson of enjoying what you have
Whether it’s through career, friendships,
living environments or even romantic relationships,
Number 5: They ruin relationships through
Speaking of friendships and romantic relationships..
The INFJ and their high expectations for not
only themselves but also those they choose
to have in their lives can hold them back
In fact, despite this inclusive personality
type’s ability to easily converse with and
accept all walks of life, there happens to
be a few key characteristics they look for
when considering expanding a connection any
And while these expectations certainly help
the INFJ weed out potential red-flags and
future uncomfortable boundary-setting scenarios,
sometimes it keeps them from expanding their
Their pre-set subconscious requirements can
cause an INFJ to shut down prematurely in
an emotional way towards others without realizing
it’s due to their idealistic narrow-mindedness.
Not to mention they can form imaginative expectations
of who they think someone is before getting
to know them, only to end up disappointed
that they didn’t match up to their fairytale-esque
Number 6: The disappointments can be extremely
Imagination and intuition are undoubtedly
two of the INFJ’s most beautiful abilities.
By pulling genuine drive and motivation out
of their visions, this imaginative type can
see themselves doing things they always dreamed
And yet, on the other side of things, this
very imagination can be the ultimate hindrance
Just like the disappointment that comes from
realizing someone isn’t who they imagined
up disheartened by the reality of all sorts
of idealistic future-projections they form
From social events to new career choices..
From the results of a life-style change to
their own abilities and performances, a simple
failure or change of outcome can really throw
In fact, the worst part of it all is that
even if the results end up being just as good
as they imagined yet not quite played out
in the way they had envisioned, the INFJ can
become distracted by the pieces that didn’t
come into fruition rather than enjoying the
that this personality type sees the moment
for what it was worth, which almost always
Number 7: They simply make outer pressure
In their day-to-day lives, INFJs are faced
with a lot of pressure, as most of us are.
However, being an introvert in an extroverted
world while simultaneously keeping up with
societal pressures of success and competition
Above all of these outside pressures there’s
nothing more daunting than retreating to your
own inner mind only to find even higher expectations
Call it perfectionism, or people-pleasing,
there’s no doubt that almost all INFJs are
considered high-achieving and ambitious in
And although this may seem like a healthy
trait that others would strive for, the INFJ’s
perfectionist nature is often rooted in less-than
Instead of sheer motivation for self-improvement,
their hard-working nature and dissatisfaction
for their achievements can create the ultimate
Although from an outside perspective the INFJ
seems like they are perfectly capable of balancing
these high expectations, there’s no doubt
that without the veil of requiring constant
self-worth, they very well may achieve things
Number 8: They can feel even more isolated
The interesting thing with idealism is that
And when the INFJ realizes periodically through
motivators in life that not everyone is striving
that the INFJ feels indifferent from the world
around them, but when their indifferences
are broken down, their idealistic expectations
While others strive for more money, more success,
and more recognition, the INFJ can’t help
but to idealize a life of more peace, more
groundedness, more kindness and more apathy.
It’s not to say that they don’t set their
expectations for self-success at a high level,
but rather, their idealism tends to be much
more focused on solving other people’s problems
Something that most others wouldn’t be able
So, do you think idealism holds you back in
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