7 Reasons The Infj Is Both Emotionless And Overly Emotional explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
Guided by internal intuition and external feeling,
there's no doubt the INFJ personality type
expressing their inner emotions. However,
both closed-off and welcoming? Both cold and
warm? Both emotionless and overly emotional?
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paradox of the INFJ personality type is that
they know much more about emotions compared to
the average person. However, they don’t always
use their knowledge to their advantage. Aside from
their external feeling function, the INFJ’s deep
interest in understanding other people’s feelings
is rooted in the deep-thinking, logical portion of
their minds. It’s as if they want to understand
emotions in a logical way in order to better
understand how to utilize their foggy sense of
personal feelings. Like monkey-see, monkey-do,
the INFJ has been analyzing others' reactions
to certain emotional scenarios since they were
children as a subconscious effort to fill the
void of having little emotional understanding
for themselves. Not only does it allow them
insight into other people’s minds, but also
a deeper understanding of how to express their own
feelings to other people. Sometimes however, this
indescribable and never-ending learning process
comes with its downsides. Which brings us to..
Burnout, overstimulation, emotional-overload,
or fear of being judged, most INFJs don’t even
feeling functions become overloaded, all of
their best intentions fly out the window.
This is all especially true and much more
prominent when the INFJ is stuck in the dreaded
introverted cognitive loop. Referred to as the
introverted intuition-introverted thinking loop,
this cognitive phenomenon occurs when an INFJ
focuses primarily on their dominant intuition
and tertiary thinking functions. With a focus
solely on their introverted functions, they
can end up falling into a depression-like state
where their outer world becomes insignificant.
This is usually seen as the INFJ retreating
from their outer surroundings by putting a halt
on interacting with the people and environments
around them. However, not only do they pay less
attention to those around them, they also become
uncharacteristically cold, withdrawn and seemingly
emotionless. This is where the contradiction of
their normal empathetic, kind, and caring selves
can become seriously confusing for some people.
Luckily, when they’re back to their normal selves,
the INFJ can utilize their extroverted functions
for a sense of balance. Once of which being..
Every personality type copes with and responds
to emotions with a different approach. For some
it can be more challenging, and for others
the process isn’t given any thought. And then
emotions of others over their own. Thanks
function - extroverted feeling - learning
the basic ways others process information
and express themselves is the INFJ’s main
focus when involved in an emotional situation.
They not only want to learn, they actually
have no choice but to absorb the negative and
positive energies of those around them. Whether
it’s their coworkers, their family members,
their romantic partner, or a stranger on the
street - the INFJ can’t help but to tune in and
‘feel’ to the deepest degree necessary. Sure,
this can feel like a super power at times,
but it can make deciphering their own emotions and
feelings from that of others seriously confusing,
especially when in a close relationship. It can
make it difficult to really know what they want,
why they want it, what they feel and why they feel
it. In other words, this emotional dilemma can end
up making self-understanding a seriously complex
thing for this personality type..especially if
they don’t know they can blame some of these
odd tendencies on their cognitive functions!
disconnection to not only their emotions,
but also their body signals. Missing meals,
caffeine-crashing, ignoring low-social battery
warnings, taking on more than their energy can
handle.. The simple little signals our bodies
somewhere in the background of their busy
internal minds and their focus on the outer world.
Now, this wouldn’t be so bad if this type wasn’t
also considered highly sensitive. Meaning, these
little occurrences may be subconsciously ignored,
but they’re certainly not silenced. In fact, it’s
as if overtime these mental cues have had to find
different ways of getting the INFJ’s attention.
This is where random emotional bouts can come
about. Feeling rather frustrated at that difficult
client at work? Maybe it’s time for a snack..
Split a splash of coffee and realize you’re on the
verge of tears? Maybe it’s time for some R & R.
Number 5: They’re sensitive but don’t open up
INFJs are so good at burying emotions that they
themselves forget where they hid them. Since the
reserved and rather shy INFJ doesn’t really know
how to express themselves outwardly most times,
emotions can also end up getting set aside.
This can come from a fear of being judged or
it’s a protective mechanism of their logical
side to guard their scarce emotional energies.
Whatever is to blame for their reluctance
sometimes the INFJ ends up missing out on
some great conversations and opportunities
for connections due to this closed-off nature.
The worst part of it all is that right beneath
up freely, yet without the trust to do so,
it’s the last thing an INFJ will do. This
from others as an auto-pilot reaction to avoid
risking any type of slip-up or accidental exposing
of their secretive emotional side. Luckily, this
reluctance can fade once the INFJ finds a genuine
connection that proves they can in fact start
to open up about their own feelings and desires.
A big part of the INFJ’s experience with their
famous empathetic and people-reading nature is
that they tend to only truly feel when witnessing
others feelings. Yes, we discussed previously that
they tend to be more in-tune with other’s emotions
over their own. However, this isn’t just with the
people they meet. In fact, sometimes INFJs can
shock themselves by the sense of emotion they are
overcome with when simply watching an emotional
scene in a movie, reading an emotional chapter
to a book or hearing something as simple as a
hard-hitting song lyric. When an INFJ can see
the pain in someone’s face, sense the emotion
in someone's voice or can imagine the feelings
INFJs can easily sense inconvincible emotions
of actors or characters using this same empathy,
which can actually ruin sentimental-intended
pieces for this type. When asked about watching
movies in particular, one redditor said “I
always just start analyzing the perspectives
of the actors while they're acting and focusing
on how they're regurgitating the screenplays
expressions, and whether it's believable or not.”
With a tendency to automatically step into
the position of grounding mediator, the INFJ
consciously leaves emotions out of the picture
for the sake of mental clarity. Whether it’s a
personal disappointment, a targeted wrong-doing,
a family affair or an unfortunate announcement,
this analytical type needs every detail before
they give the slightest reaction. Once they have
a good idea of what they’re working with, then
they move onto the people involved. Without first
harmonizing their surroundings, the INFJ cannot
take the time to begin processing everything
themselves. If they are deeply affected and
are no longer needed for any type of mediation,
this private type will still wait until they’re
behind closed doors before they really allow the
absorption and processing stages to begin. While
this approach may seem slightly emotionless from
the outside looking in, it’s the only way the INFJ
can properly navigate emotional uproars in life.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today.. Before you
go, let us know in the comments below of a time
where these contradicting emotional-states have
conflicted. Also, make sure to leave us a like,
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