6 Questions Every Infj Needs To Ask Before Door Slamming

6 Questions Every Infj Needs To Ask Before Door Slamming explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.

Days, weeks, and even years of contemplating

is considered a normal part of the INFJ door

slamming process. With the tendency to give

one too many chances and the uncertainty when

it comes to their own emotions, the process

So, what are the most essential questions

Welcome or welcome back PSYCH-Os! That’s exactly

what we’ll be discussing in today’s video. Before

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before themselves, INFJs are usually much more

absorbed in what other people need to be happy.

However, due to their analytical nature, their

need for constant self improvement, and their

secondary extroverted feeling function that

causes them to absorb other people’s feelings,

this selfless personality type rarely really knows

or questions what it is they need to change in

their lives in order to be happy. Sure, it’s easy

to avoid tension in the moment, or stay blissfully

ignorant to the things that truly need to be

adjusted, but INFJs need to keep in mind that

it’s the little things left unattended-to that

will eventually snowball into serious unhappiness

and dissatisfaction in the future. So what is

it that you ‘need’ as an INFJ? Well, we’ll help

you get started. Most INFJs need things like

supportive family members, like-minded friends,

ample amounts of alone time, the ability to

creatively express themselves, proper work-life

balance, and work that allows them the freedom

to use their creativity. What else can you add to

that list? What do you really need from life aside

from what your connections are or aren’t giving?

Number 2: What is my minimum requirement of others

Sometimes it’s not what someone did to an INFJ,

but rather what they didn’t do for the connection.

Although boundary-crossing may be considered

(which we’ll discuss later in the video),

sometimes it’s more-so about the short-coming that

INFJs sense within their surrounding connections

that encourage them to ultimately door slam.

The tricky thing is that INFJs know themselves to

have unnecessarily high-expectations of themselves

but this extroverted feeler may not even know

how strict their requirements of others are,

figure out what it is they expect of people in

general before concluding that someone deserves

to be door slammed. Once this analytical type

stops placing requirements on their connections

on a whim and actually sets a foundation for what

they want like we discussed in the first step,

then they can go ahead and begin to decipher what

they need from others. Not only is it considerably

easier to communicate these expectations to

people once you’ve gone through them yourself,

but it also gives the INFJ the ability to either

rationalize the requirement if not ultimately

cut it out from their pickiness all together.

Number 3: Did I take significant time and space?

We’d hate to say it dear INFJs, but maybe it’s

your fault. Maybe you want to doorslam certain

people because you didn’t take the necessary time

out of the connection for yourself. Maybe you

didn’t take the time to really question whether

or not you've communicated the necessary balance

within a relationship that you need to be happy.

Heck, maybe burnout has you sensing conflict where

there is none to be found. Now, we don’t want to

gaslight ourselves into thinking we’re going crazy

contemplated. However, before taking the leap,

every INFJ needs to ask themselves if they’ve

personally taken the necessary time and space

to think things through with a clear conscience.

This is so crucial for this type in particular

because even the slightest hint of conflict can

drive them into defense mode. And although INFJs

aren’t known for lashing out or reacting without

thinking, they need to constantly be questioning

whether or not their inner reactions are out of an

attempt to shield themselves from deeper injuries.

So, if an INFJ were to find themselves in the

heat of the moment where they think a door slam

is the only option, stop, drop and run! If it’s

possible, it’s best to seize the raw emotion of

the moment in order to later pair that emotional

information with their strong intuitive skills

in order to get a true and accurate projection

of the matter. After all, introverted intuition

is the INFJ’s inner compass-like superpower

for directing them out of harm's way. And if

it’s given the space to work it’s magic, you’d

be surprised at how trustworthy it really is.

Number 4: Did they cross any serious boundaries?

Speaking of boundaries, INFJs have a difficult

time with boundary setting and boundary keeping,

follows them through life in different ways.

They may not be the clearest or most stern when it

comes to personal bounds within their connections,

but that’s because most of the INFJ’s boundaries

are considered common sense in most instances..

or, at least to them they are. And because of

these unspoken-of, common sense-rooted boundaries,

there are some offenses that INFJs find merely

unforgivable right off the bat. When it comes

to threats or crimes against their bodies,

mental health or family, INFJs will resort to door

slamming to avoid any further disruption to their

ability to move through their lives with full,

comfortable range of motion. In these instances,

there’s not much thinking or analyzing going on,

but rather the infj’s unique approach of the fight

or flight mode. It’s as if it’s not even up to

the INFJ in these situations whether or not the

circumstance calls for a true doorslam, because

once the threshold for what they cannot tolerate

has been reached, INFJs subconsciously give

themselves all the permission to bolt that door

shut no matter what their people-pleasing

instincts are pulling them to do. In reality,

this self-sufficient type will always put their

security, safety and freedom above all else,

especially in terms of boundaries with others.

Crossing clearly communicated boundaries is

one thing the INFJ will most likely never come

back from, especially if it’s happened more than

once. However, for other instances and fallouts,

the door slam completely. With the ability

to sense when someone is being distrustful,

most people with this personality type will be

able to sense the difference between genuine and

disingenuous remorse. So, the next most important

question an INFJ can ask when deciphering whether

or not they should finally slam that door

is simply, is this person actually sorry?

Are they sorry just with their words or also

their actions? Because INFJs know first hand that

apologies only count if there is changed behavior

that follows. In other words, to the INFJ, saying

sorry opens the door to healing but it only does

just that. It’s up to both individuals to play

their part in the forgiveness process once that

door has been cracked. And with that information,

INFJs are able to slowly choose whether or

not the door ‘slammy’ in the situation is

really due for another chance. Plus, the INFJ

specifically needs to keep in mind that it’s

okay to ask for more than just a couple of words

in exchange for the pain someone caused them,

especially if it’s for the sake of avoiding

the other individual truly believes their

see their genuinity for what it is rather

Once this analytical type can sense a pattern

forming through past disappointments with the same

individual, no amount of emotion and empathy will

surpass their logical perception. The kicker to it

all is that INFJs subconsciously choose to forgive

and forget for the sake of their own mental peace.

This means that when the time comes to mentally

gather up the data they’ve collected through

past experiences, they’ll find that the picture

they’ve painted may be biasedly leaving out a

few key negatives. However, when this empath

type allows their logical side to take over

chances” have been given. This is when the harsh

realizations and ah-ha moments occur that maybe

Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today’s video..

So, have you asked all 6 questions before door

slamming in the past? Let us know in the comments

below! Also, make sure to leave us a like,

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