6 Key Reasons Behind Inevitable Infj Self Sabotage explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
It’s no secret that everyone has their moments
of self sabotage and self loathing, but when
it comes to the self-critical INFJ, they seem to
get in their own way more often than not. Between
extremely high self expectations and overthinking
tendencies, this personality type can be downright
self-abusive at times, but how can this happen if
they are considered so empathetic and intuitive?
Welcome or welcome back PSYCH-Os! Before we get
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As most of us are, INFJs are faced with a
lot of pressure. Being an introvert in an
extroverted world, keeping up with societal
and being guided with intuition can all wreak
havoc on an INFJ self-image. However, above all
of these pressures, there’s nothing more daunting
for this personality type than the extremely high
expectations they set out for themselves.
Call it perfectionism, or people-pleasing,
there’s no doubt that almost all INFJs are
considered high-achieving and ambitious in all
areas of their lives. And although this may seem
like a healthy trait that others would strive for,
the INFJ’s perfectionist nature can sometimes come
from the wrong place. Instead of sheer motivation
for self-improvement, their hard-working nature
and dissatisfaction for their achievements
can create the ultimate recipe for self sabotage.
Although from an outside perspective, the INFJ
seems like they are perfectly capable of balancing
the high expectations they set out for themselves,
they are almost always unnecessarily struggling in
at least one area of their lives. Not only that,
to accept compliments from others, because
in a little more than others. One of those
types of people being the perfectionistic INFJ
personality type. At different points in life,
depending on obligations, mental and emotional
energy, and the actual task being procrastinated,
this procrastination-prone type can easily
To put it simply, there's a fine line between
INFJs setting healthy boundaries around their
time and energy, and taking things a little
too far, leading to full-blown self-sabotage.
Luckily, unless there's something seriously
wrong, an INFJ is able to usually bounce back
to their otherwise ambitious-selves rather
there's no pill more difficult to swallow for
the INFJ than having something not be completed
up-to-par due to their self-sabotaging tendencies.
For the INFJ and many other procrastinators,
holding off on doing certain tasks is far more
than just being lazy. In fact for the INFJ
in particular, usually their avoidance is
rooted in fear of failing, a fear of change,
or not knowing all the details in order to go
forward. When an INFJ feels fully confident
in their skill set and can accurately see the
possible outcome, tasks just seem less daunting.
If you’re an INFJ, you’ll know personally
just how exhausting it can be to deal with
This judging personality type likes to know
what’s going to happen, when it’s going to happen,
While this trait allows the INFJ to be quite
organized and able to get things done, the act of
obsessing over to-do lists, planners and schedules
unexpected twists and turns that life never fails
to provide. When you know everything beforehand,
it takes away half of the fun, but for an INFJ
it’s much more than that. If something doesn’t
go as planned for the INFJ who has thought of
every possible outcome, they’ll instantly feel
unprepared, and INFJs don’t function properly
when they’re not prepared. Luckily, overtime, most
INFJs learn to properly step out of their own way
and allow life to flow amid uncertainty. Although
it’s much easier said than done, once an INFJ gets
a taste of the free-flowing, in the moment
lifestyle, it’ll be difficult to allow their
over-planning selves to get the best of them.
Number 4: They over analyze every aspect of life
A big part of an INFJs controlling nature is
their overly analytical sense of direction.
This introspective personality type spends a great
deal of time in their own heads, questioning and
ruminating about many aspects of life. While
this allows them to understand things on a deep,
complex level, it also holds an INFJ back in
many ways. INFJs have difficulty taking things
for face value, such as love and achievements
- which can take the beauty out of the things
in life that don’t necessarily require a deeper
understanding or questioning. For example, instead
of an INFJ accepting the love someone has for
them, they may be distracted with thoughts such
as “I wonder if this love is just infatuation, or
lust?”, “Do I love them back?” “What even is love,
and is everyone’s definition of love different?”,
“Do you have to love someone to show them love?”.
Or, this can happen in social settings such as an
INFJ overthinking their appearance by wondering
if they wore an appropriate outfit, if they have
anything in their teeth, if they look too happy,
the drift. These thought cycles never end,
they only switch from topic to topic. To put it
simply, it can be extremely distracting and even
upsetting knowing that it’s so difficult to just
be in the moment and enjoy it, which is one of the
main reasons it’s so daunting to socialize and
put yourself out there to try new experiences.
Number 5: They can daydream a little too much
As we mentioned, INFJs have a vast and rich inner
world made up of all the things they truly desire
in life, and although they’re able to put some
of these dreams into action especially when it
has to do with helping humanity in some way, this
personality type can struggle with unrealistic
expectations from people and situations because
their inner dreams are so much more preferable
than reality. For example, INFJs are known
to be hopeless romantics and tend to expect
fairytale-like romantic partnerships from their
lovers. As we all know, romantic partnerships
aren’t all butterflies and roses, and when an INFJ
is hit with this reality, they may become slightly
taken aback and begin wondering if that romance
is out there somewhere. So, in other words,
it can be difficult for romantic partners to live
up to these expectations. Similar to romantic
partnership, INFJs can paint an optimistic
expectation of an event, new career change,
and just about anything else that is yet to come,
and often enough, they are merely disappointed to
some degree. So, for an INFJ to learn to put down
their expectations and predictions in order to
better enjoy the reality that is life, they may be
pleasantly surprised at how beautiful life can be.
There are no walls built higher than that of
people who feel constantly misunderstood. INFJs
know this first hand, and they are incredibly
good at masking these walls, making others
think they know them, when really all they know
is the front the INFJ strategically puts on.
Ironically, the empathetic feeling nature of this
rare personality type craves deep connection and
meaning within their relationships, yet they
are so hesitant to open up about themselves to
create mutual bonds within their lives. These
walls are rooted in the terrifying feeling of
appearing vulnerable and ultimately getting
hurt or used as a result. INFJs know they are
incredibly sensitive creatures, from the smallest
set backs, to the life-changing betrayals,
when INFJs hurt, they really hurt, and tend
to ruminate for much longer than necessary.
While this is a positive trait in some aspects,
as it allows for the highly empathetic energy of
the INFJ to be closely guarded, it also leads them
further away from the friendships, relationships,
A simple example of this would be turning down
social events out of fear of being left to stand
by themselves in a room full of extroverted,
connecting people. This may not seem like wall
building, but it is. This is taking precautionary
measures for a fear that is most likely not
going to happen, and even if it does for a short
period, it will probably lead to some incredible
connections. Now this isn’t to say that INFJs
need to wiggle their way out of their naturally
introverted nature and force themselves to go
to every social event, but to find a balance is
key to having the best of both worlds, and getting
out of their own way of finding those connections.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today’s video..
Before you go, let us know in the comments below
what you think your worst self-sabotaging tendency
is, as an INFJ. Also, make sure to leave us a
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