How Every Infj Acts In Different Social Settings explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
Both introverted and extroverted, the INFJ
is often confused as an ambivert for their
innate ability to mix and mingle with any
However, deep down inside, INFJs are introverts
at heart, and tend to change the way they
act according to different crowds and their
comfort level around different personalities
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Number 1: Large groups of people (who they’re
First and foremost, let’s get the most dreadful
the worst thing for the INFJ who will gladly
However, when this naturally introverted type
is expected to co-mingle with the people within
this crowd of strangers, that’s when they
Luckily, they don’t go blank like some introverted
Instead, thanks to their extroverted feeling
function, the INFJ resorts to chameleon mode.
This is where they can easily tweak their
rather quiet and noticeably-observant selves
to fit the energy of each smaller group they
Whether it's a large family gathering, an
obligatory work party, or even a highschool
reunion..The most interesting aspect of this
chameleon mode is that the INFJ rarely notices
left with ruminating through the information
So, while INFJs may seem extremely convincing
within social scenarios where they’re expected
to socialize, it can be confusing when they’re
not so keen on attending social gatherings
Number 2: Large crowds of people (that they
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way,
Turns out, INFJs actually enjoy being within
large crowds.. if they can find a front row
The interesting aspect of an INFJ’s introversion
in particular is that they have an underlying
need to continuously examine their surroundings,
including the people and energies within it.
Actually, this is one of the INFJ’s favorite
So, when it comes to large crowds of people
where all they feel obligated to do is observe,
this personality type actually quite enjoys
In fact, a short amount of time spent in a
positively-infectious environment can be all
an INFJ needs to feel less distant from the
world, while still allowing them to be in
Number 3: Large crowds of people after the
Large crowds where socializing isn’t expected
And it’s not always the socializing aspect
that makes large crowds seem rather uninviting
Since most INFJs would consider themselves
to be an HSP or highly sensitive person, it
means that any overload of stimuli can easily
This means that large crowds of different
people, colors, noises, and voices can be
entertaining at the start, but once they’ve
gotten their fill, spending any more time
in a high-stimuli scenario can cause the INFJ
to burnout and feel irritable far before anyone
This is where things like busy shopping malls,
concerts, festivals, bars and any other outing
most people would consider fun, comes with
an underlying fear of overstimulation that
makes it difficult for the INFJ to enjoy themselves
Number 4: Small groups of between 3-5 people
As the group gets smaller the dynamic of the
entire energy and comfort level drastically
The less people the better, because the more
intimate and genuine the setting becomes.
INFJs can instantly see the difference of
topics of conversation when there are less
This difference in energy not only allows
the INFJ to feel more comfortable, but it
allows the other people involved to put their
guard down - which we all know is a crucial
component to creating a proper connection
However, with such concentrated energies,
a small group dynamic can vary drastically
depending on the people involved and their
If the INFJ knows everyone within the group,
even if they’ve only met them a few times,
analyzing anyone, which ultimately decreases
Nonetheless, INFJs usually end up taking the
back seat of the conversation more times than
not, listening rather than contributing, and
only contributing if they’re genuinely interested.
Luckily, if the people involved know the INFJ,
they won’t be taken aback by this often-perceived
However, as the number of people they don’t
know within the group increases, their comfort
level decreases; and this means they may even
turn on their chameleon-like ways to accurately
obtain the information they need for their
Paradoxically, they may seem more comfortable
but it’s just their way of playing the role
Like we said, the less people the better..
No matter the setting, INFJs much rather socialize
While some people tend to be more reluctant
to talk to strangers rather than their own
people, INFJs are usually open minded to allowing
people to share their insights and personal
experiences so they can learn through them.
While they may not look very approachable
in person.. and may even take measures to
not be approached by strangers, deep down,
Of course, in an unpredictable scenario, INFJs
allow their the energy and demeanor of the
other person to determine how they’ll act.
This is not only to keep the conversation
mutual but also to not have to open up to
When this interaction is with a stranger they
won’t meet again, they won’t feel obligated
to know which tidbits of personal information
they should be sharing, because they don’t
Now, when it comes to a one-on-one conversation
Whether the INFJ is genuine friends with someone
already or they’re getting to know someone
in hopes of a potential friendship, deep,
thought-provoking conversations is the key
This is where they can feel most like themselves,
without any tweaking of their behaviors or
In these scenarios, INFJs usually feel comfortable
sharing those deep insights and ideas they’ve
become so accustomed to withholding from others.
This is mostly because once they’ve figured
someone out, and actually enjoy them for who
they are, the fear of being judged or misunderstood
And in the same sense, INFJs don’t ask questions
out of politeness or obligation when it comes
The only questions they ask are the ones in
In fact, this is how most of these intimate
conversations come up, since a simple ‘how
are you’ can easily turn into a venting-session
Number 7: One-on-one with a potential lover
In some circumstances, lovers and friends
Once someone has made it past the guards INFJ’s
surface personality, they begin to unveil
And once the INFJ has formed that love for
an individual, you become one of their people
However, getting to that point can be quite
A potential romantic connection comes with
a unique aspect that friendships have on a
And that is the reluctance of vulnerability.
And with the opportunity for open vulnerability
comes a level of shyness that this introverted
type can actually surprise themselves with
When the INFJ is getting to know someone on
enough to flirt until they have the slightest
of foundation as to who that person is and
how they’ll perceive the gesture, and so,
things can feel rather serious until this
This can make these one-on-one conversations
end up feeling like an interview until the
It’s fair to say that when getting to know
this reluctant type one-on-one, patience is
So, let us know in the comments below if you
can relate to these different social-setting
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