Why Some Infjs Fear Their Angry Side explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
Even the most empathetic and understanding
personality types have negative emotions they’re
not proud of..and INFJs are no exception.
In fact, not only are INFJs not proud of their
angry side, but they actually can end up feeling
seriously shameful and guilty when their dark
Today’s video is all about exactly that..why
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Number 1: They repress it, never knowing when
about the INFJ’s secondary function, extroverted
Extroverted feeling makes it so that INFJs
can easily feel and even experience the emotions
to really know what they’re feeling themselves.
And so, intense emotions like anger and depression
that are triggered through life experiences
often get buried deep within their subconscious
At the moment, INFJs can’t focus on their
own emotions because they’re too busy calculating
Yet, the confusing thing is that these undealt-with
emotions and subconscious grudges pop up when
they least expect it, often at the most inconvenient
And when they do come up, INFJs don’t need
to know how to deal with them because they
get dealt with whether they like it or not.
Whether an INFJs anger is triggered in a ‘straw
that broke the camel's back’ kind of way,
where they end up unleashing every single
observed issue they have with an individual.
Or it pops up when they’re alone and mentally
analyzing a past experience or current area
INFJs hate feeling angry and usually end up
feeling pretty embarrassed and guilty once
as part of their identity due to their deep
It’s as if INFJs see people’s inner child
making it so that no matter what someone does,
INFJs can understand the lack of knowledge,
uncontrolled emotions, or curiosities that
led to the supposed anger-inducing situation
And so, when INFJ’s feelings of anger get
the best of them, they end up seriously self-criticizing
about the sheer irrationality behind their
Sensitive to criticisms and defensive when
being pushed outside their comfort zones against
their own accord, the INFJ’s most regrettable
bouts of anger are rooted in self-protection.
challenged for the way they do things in life.
They’re highly self-aware in analyzing what
it is they do and don’t want, and although
And because of that, INFJs can come off as
rather stubborn, disinterested or even noticeably
annoyed at the people who are continuously
Contradictingly, this advocate type is known
for critiquing and encouraging others to leave
their comfort zones because they can see the
So, they know most people’s pieces of constructive
criticism and perceived motivation is based
out of love just as their own advice to others
And so, sometimes this seemingly uncalled
for irritation makes the INFJ feel even worse
Number 4: They don’t believe anger is the
Despite natural human emotion that arises
despite our best conscious efforts, INFJs
never think resorting to anger is the logical
They’re extremely understanding, and even
if they strongly disapprove of something,
they much rather avoid conflict than get wrapped
up in the underlying negativity behind it.
In fact, not only does this stem from their
highly sensitive and empathetic personalities
but the INFJ genuinely sees visible or verbal
It takes a lot of self control to not show
anger, but even more so to understand the
underlying emotions behind someone else’s
However, this is not to say INFJs are perfect,
Of course they know anger and have expressed
anger themselves, but each and every time
they regret it and end up spending hours calculating
how many other more beneficial approaches
The older and more experienced an INFJ gets,
the less likely they are to get to the point
Number 5: Their over-analysis of anger can
One thing every INFJ does once they’re alone
in their thoughts after a fit of anger is
of times, inputting all the different possible
outcomes, reasonings and mistakenly perceived
components in order to get a full picture
Luckily, with this logical reasoning and observation
they can usually come to a fair and concise
In fact, even if it’s just a small situation
that makes the INFJ uncomfortable, they can
end up getting angry when they keep thinking
Specifically when it’s from a relationship
or friendship standpoint, the more an INFJ
thinks about how the other person hurts them,
This over-analysis of a person or a situation
can make them trapped in resentment and anger
for a long time, especially if it has to do
with betrayal, being manipulated or lied to.
But above all, when INFJs come to the conclusion
that their kindness has been abused, there’s
Number 6: They’ll cut people out and isolate
Whether an INFJ senses that their anger is
soon to erupt or that they may show any negative
emotion whatsoever, the first thing they do
Not only do they want to save themselves from
impulsive reactions that they’ll later regret,
but INFJs naturally have a hard time expressing
This doesn’t change when it comes to anger,
in fact, to some degree, INFJs are afraid
to let other people know when they’re angry
So, instead of communicating, sometimes INFJs
rather isolate and go through the motions
From this outside, this withdrawal usually
looks like the silent treatment or maybe even
a door slam in severe cases, when in reality
this introspective type is just trying to
figure out what it is they’re feeling and
if it’s worth a future discussion or not.
Unfortunately in this time of contemplation,
INFJs can become rather cold compared to their
Number 7: They don’t get around to actually
Anger is a natural human emotion that acts
to alert us when something crosses our own
and if something needs to be changed in our
Whether it be within certain relationships,
job positions or self habits, anger is usually
rooted in the lack of boundaries that needs
However, with conflict-avoidance and a tendency
to withdraw, sometimes this peace-keeping
personality type never gets around to confronting
In fact, they can be so focused on analyzing
the uncomfortable emotions they’re feeling
that they forget to analyze the reason they’re
These unmet desires and needs ultimately snowball
into bigger issues that they end up door-slamming
from their lives instead of nipping it in
While the INFJ door slam is rarely an impulsive
decision, sometimes a spell of anger can make
If an INFJ brushes their issues with someone
or something under the carpet for too long,
they may be surprised when they act on their
door-slamming ways seemingly out of the blue.
They can end up shutting someone out entirely
not because that was their original intention,
they weren’t able to communicate their feelings
Whether it would cause them too much pain
to open that door back up or they sincerely
feel too shameful that they were wrong to
slam the door in the first place, this misplaced
anger can end up falling back on them when
another route if they had first gotten a grasp
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today’s video..
So, as an INFJ, tell us of a time in the comments
below where you seriously feared your angry
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