8 Strengths & Challenges Of The Infj Parent explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
Considering the INFJ’s high-set standards for
themselves, it’s no different when it comes to
their parenting style. And like most things
they apply this perfectionism concept to,
it comes with its positives and negatives..
So, what are the wins and difficulties that
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Strength Number 1: They always know where
their children are at mentally and emotionally
Introverted intuition comes with its highs and
lows, yet there’s no ignoring their intuitive
radar when it comes to their own children. It’s
fair to say that most parents have a sense of
parent-child telepathy considering they’ve
witnessed each of their child’s emotional
expressions develop since birth. Yet, it’s said
that the INFJ feels this sixth sense on a much
deeper level. Considering it’s not only with
their children that they’re able to pick up on
and absorb the energies of others, when it comes
to their own off-springs, their intuitive senses
allow them the unwavering ability to approach
their child’s difficulties and challenges with
keen accuracy. When their children are young, the
INFJ parent is able to use this intuitive sense
to accurately decipher between simple things such
as a complaint of a serious belly ache or a cry
for attention.. Or whether or not their child’s
uncharacteristic silence is due to them having
a hard time at school or simply not getting
enough sleep. And while that’s all helpful,
it’s when their children get a little older
that this intuitive sense can really come in
handy. When things like heartbreaks, bullying
and body-image processing take the place of
simple child-like difficulties, the INFJ parent
is able to use their intuitive findings to take
the best approach. Although it’s certainly
it serves as one of the most helpful traits of
their personality type. Which brings us to..
Strength Number 2: They use their counselor-like
a parent with the INFJ personality type is able
to approach their children and their children’s
challenges with utmost respect and understanding.
With the reluctance towards jumping to conclusions
or reacting without getting the full picture, the
INFJ parent has a unique attitude when it comes
to both helping and rewarding their children.
With a natural tendency to give second chances,
doubt they deserve, the INFJ parent would
never resort to blaming their child, no matter how
difficult the situation may get. Through their own
lessons in life, they know that it’s support and
understanding that allows one to properly learn
the lessons that are served to them by life and
by the people in it. And while they may believe in
holding a sturdy stance when it comes to pushing
their children in the right direction, they
usually choose their child’s freedom to make their
own decisions instead of resorting to tough love.
While the INFJ parent, and most other parents,
deeply wish that they could protect their children
from all the harm in the world, they know that
too much protection will only make their life more
difficult. In fact, INFJ Nicole Kidman once said
‘“My instinct is to protect my children from pain.
But adversity is often the thing that gives us
character and backbone.” This is the exact motto
every INFJ tries their best to parent with. With
this attitude in mind, INFJ parents have a way
with explaining some of life’s hardest lessons in
both metaphorical and experiential terms. They’re
able to tweak their explanations through patience
to meet their child where they’re at in terms of
age and comprehension to provide some of the most
resonating clarifications. Thanks to their innate
imaginative thought processes and their ability
to actually learn from their own past mistakes,
filled with knowledge that may make life’s
Some say the best part of having an INFJ parent
is the fact that they see their children not only
as growing little humans, but they actually
treat them with the dignity and respect that
they would one of their closest friends. They not
only acknowledge the brilliance a child projects,
but the active and imaginative inner child of
the INFJ actually allows them to appreciate
the time-sensitive uniqueness their child’s youth
has to offer. This means that not only does this
personality type see themselves responsible,
but with the reluctance of letting others in,
it can feel as if they’ve given life to their
own little best friends. And while it’s not as
apparent when their children are young, when the
INFJ parent grows old, it’s extremely rare that
they don’t befriend their children as some of
their closest people. With the proper lessons,
morals, and life experiences, INFJs can find that
they’ve never felt a deeper friend-like bond with
what exactly does this personality type struggle
with when it comes to parenting? Starting with..
The social life of a young child is undoubtedly
important when it comes to development and
the introverted INFJ who can be considered
reluctant to social outings, this importance can
pose a serious challenge. In fact, it’s not only
the INFJ parent who struggles with this aspect,
but all introverted parents who are in the stage
of raising young children can experience this
difficulty to some degree. From play dates and
hosting sleepovers, to field-trip volunteering and
chaperoning events, socializing for the sake of
their children is one of the most difficult inner
challenges most introverted parents face. The
issue with INFJs in particular is that they don’t
just skip out on these parent-bonding outings and
accept the fact. They tend to be extremely hard on
themselves for this aspect of their personality,
and will usually push themselves past the point
of a depleted social battery for the sake of
their child’s growth. And if they don’t, serious
unshakable parent guilt will come flooding in..
Speaking of a depleted battery, the oh so sweet
solitude and alone time that INFJs are used
to making for themselves becomes far and few
between when they’re responsible for their own
little humans. Of course, there’s no doubt that
every mother and father feels this sense of loss
of identity and parental exhaustion on a daily
basis. Yet, for the INFJ parent, it’s a constant
struggle between providing their children with
the immediate attention they demand and immersing
themselves in the sense of revitalization
that their much-needed alone time provides.
It’s fair to say that the INFJ doesn’t parent
the way they want to when they feel depleted,
and pushing themselves just doesn’t work like
it does with some other personality types. Yet,
similar to skipping out on social outings,
taking time out for themselves only comes
with guilt and self-judgments of being selfish
and even irresponsible. However, it’s not long
before they find out what happens when they push
themselves past their limits. Which brings us to..
is nothing to the INFJ personality type..
even in the case of those dependents being
their own children. In fact, when referring to
the dreaded INFJ introverted intuition-introverted
thinking loop also referred to as the Ni-Ti loop,
the INFJ can be sent into a rather auto-pilot way
of parenting that is unlike their true nature.
stimuli and no time to process and release
it, the INFJ becomes a shell of themselves.
It’s as if they flick the switch from a fun,
affectionate, and creative parenting style to
their children without the tenderness and
attentiveness that their children require.
The most difficult aspect of this is that it’s
outwardly apparent, meaning their children,
family and partners can feel that something
is not right. Luckily, with the right support
and understanding from their significant other,
this parenting Ni-Ti loop is easily reversible.
Micromanaging isn’t characteristic of the INFJ
per say, with their preference of giving people
the information and support to do what they
desire. And although they don’t necessarily
resort to tough love when it comes to the
inevitable lessons their child must face in life,
it’s not to say that the INFJ parent isn’t known
to provide their characteristic constructive
criticisms when needed. While they’re certainly
the parent that would support their child’s every
endeavor and chosen direction in life, the INFJ
parent can become slightly panicked when they
witness their child throwing in the towel without
giving it their all. Since they themselves tend to
feel dismayed when feeling at a loss of direction,
the INFJ parent may pick up on this confusion of
their children and feel as if they must step
in. For example, to them, this may look like
encouraging their child to attend just one more
sports game and then decide how they feel. Yet
to their child this may feel like they don’t have
the support to make their own decisions. Luckily,
with intuition at hand, they usually don’t
overstep boundaries to the point of no return.
And in the end, with a lack of sternness behind
their encouragements, it’s usually quite apparent
that the ‘push’ they give to their children is
done out of love and even personal insecurities.
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