8 Weird Things Infjs Are Secretly Jealous Of explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
Insecurities, perceived self-inadequacies and
perfectionism are nothing new to the INFJ
that with these personal challenges combined,
they can set themselves up for unnecessary envy
and jealousy? Do these innate traits cause them
to be considered one of the more jealous MBTI
types? And most importantly, what exactly is
it that sends the INFJ into a jealous mindset?
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personality type happens to be the underlying
envy that comes when they have to ‘share’ their
favorite person. When the INFJ cares about someone
deeply, they take the connection very seriously.
While it’s certainly not an internal reaction that
they’re proud of, and most likely rarely admitted,
the INFJ can’t help but to question their valued
connections when they see that their closest
person can show the same bond with other people.
times, this response is rooted in the fact
that the INFJ can’t relate to how easily other
people tend to let new connections come about,
themselves in the company of others. This
has similar deep relationships with other
people, but that they themselves have such
a hard time doing the same. In fact, this is
one of the INFJ’s biggest challenges when it
comes to automatic emotional response and their
innate logic. They know it’s a personal problem,
unwanted and pathetic. And because of that,
they usually only become angry at themselves
when this type of jealousy makes its presence.
Speaking of personal problems, it tends to be
the common denominator of the majority of INFJ
jealousy. This includes the FOMO they have when
watching how easily it is for others to enjoy
socializing. Sure, this social-chameleon can
get along with just about anyone they meet,
but that doesn’t mean that they’re necessarily
Since it takes so long for the INFJ to open
up and actually play their own character,
they can end up feeling a sense of imposter
syndrome in most social settings. They walk
away feeling like they’ve successfully played the
role of ‘sociable human’, yet they feel even more
distanced from themselves and the people they
mingled with. And so.. when they see someone
effortlessly opening up, being themselves and
creating real, genuine connections, they can end
up questioning what it is they’re missing.
Romantic jealousy is something most single
INFJs will be able to relate to. In fact,
even some INFJs that are considered to be in a
happy relationship may still be met with this
feeling of missing out on one romantic aspect or
another. Unfortunately, INFJ’s can’t get away from
comparing themselves and their lives with others.
And while they’re extroverted sensing function
actually uses other people’s lives and experiences
as a learning ground for their own knowledge,
it can end up being quite the self-sabotaging
trait at times. And since most INFJs struggle
with finding that fairytale romance they’ve
longed for since childhood, other people’s
romantic connections end up being a subconscious
focal point. Although they know it’s not the most
logical thing to do, some INFJs have the habit
of looking at other’s romantic connections with
rose colored glasses. Contributing to their
romantic jealousy can make them feel that finding
a similar romance for themselves is unattainable.
If there’s one thing the INFJ has a deeper
it would be that of finding their purpose in life.
Purpose is everything to this personality type,
and without it they feel lost beyond comparison.
So, when it comes to watching others clearly find
and flourish within a purposeful endeavor in life,
they can feel like they’re not trying hard enough.
Of course, when there's a moral purpose behind
someone’s chosen direction, one side of the INFJ’s
thinking process can’t help but to cheer them on.
However, when it comes back to self-reflection,
as everything in the INFJ experience does, they
can’t avoid wondering when it’s going to be their
time. They may even become jealous over someone’s
work ethic, or their ability to put themselves out
there to find that motivating purpose. Luckily,
after a little non-admitted self pity, this type
of jealousy can actually encourage the INFJ to
try a little harder or experiment with alternative
directions in life and career..which isn’t
necessarily out of character. Which brings us to..
There’s very few instances where the INFJ sticks
with a hobby or new endeavor long enough to master
it. Although mastery and meaning is usually their
ultimate goal when heading in a new direction,
the experience and knowledge-thirsty INFJ
comes to their personal progress. However,
in rare instances, they find a niche where
they can’t help but to contribute their time,
energy, resources and even money to excel.
career that resonates deeply within them,
they feel on top of the world - especially if
that speciality is appreciated by others. They
love to be the go-to person for a specific skill
or knowledge they’ve obtained, and they’re not
exactly thrilled when someone comes to take their
place. While the conflict-avoidant INFJ is one
of the least competitive types, they can’t help
but to feel self-critical when someone does what
they’re so good at.. better. In fact, it can
be so over-taking that they give up entirely.
Similar to the jealousy that comes when an INFJ
observes someone living out their purpose in life,
the INFJ can feel seriously envious of people
who are perceived to be simply content with the
life they’re living. People who are perceived
to live in the moment, practice gratitude,
contribute to their valued connections, and have
set the necessary boundaries in their life. For,
the INFJ knows not everyone is always longing
for more to feel content with their lives,
and sometimes they wish they were able to just
be happy with what they have. And while they’re
quite aware that nobody’s life is perfect, they
also know that happiness is a state of mind. A
state of mind that can feel foreign to them, to
say the least. The most ironic aspect of it all
is that because INFJ’s tend to project an image of
a well-maintained life and balanced mental health,
most people probably wish they shared a similar
contentedness to the INFJ. When in reality,
In most cases, confidence is an illusion.
Because the human brain can’t help but to find
self-faults, there's no way every insecurity can
be remedied. However, it’s certainly possible
to navigate life through a self-confident
place despite perceived self-doubts. This is the
secret sauce that INFJ’s are always trying to get
a hold of. The missing piece that they see other’s
wearing, but they can’t quite find for themselves.
Similarly to how the INFJ can put on a good
front of having their life well-maintained,
they may come off as quite the confident person
in certain settings. However, without years of
maturity and self-valuing lessons, the average
person with this personality type can’t relate
to feeling that innate sense of self-confidence
that they are envious of in other people.
Preferring to be on the side lines or behind
the curtains, INFJ’s rarely walk into a room
confidence in looks, smarts or personality,
they struggle with a notion of humility that
actually ends up convincing them that they’re
not all that. Usually resulting in the INFJ
retreating and doubting their natural-born gifts.
Life lessons, experiences and trauma can do a
lot to a person.. And while the INFJ isn’t the
most nostalgic personality type, preferring to
focus on the future rather than the past or the
present moment, they don’t always reflect on who
they used to be. However, when significant changes
happen that make the INFJ feel stuck or miserable
in their current life circumstances, they may
begin to pull from their subconscious, times where
they feel more at ease. Maybe they self-sabotage
themselves out of an honest relationship, or
they're looking back at all the opportunities
they had as a young adult.. This reminiscing can
send the INFJ into a mental loop of jealousy for
who they used to be. Since every choice and change
in their life is met with self-reflection, they
may feel envious of the optimism they once held
for the future that they can’t relate to anymore.
personality type? Let us know in the comments
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