8 Struggles Of Being The Only Infj In The Family explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
The black sheep, the odd one out, we’ve heard
it all.. The INFJ personality type definitely
stands out when it comes to family dynamics.
With a reluctance to follow the norm and a
lively curiosity that leads them to think and live
outside the box - it’s no surprise that being the
only INFJ in the family comes with it’s own ups
and downs that only true INFJ’s could relate to.
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Alright, let’s get right into it starting with..
Number 1: They are naturally the black sheep
Said to be the rarest of all 16 personality types,
considered the black sheep of the family.
With an intuition-led dominant function and
naturally highly imaginative thought processes,
the INFJ learns at an early age that they
hold qualities that their friends and family
can’t relate to. They often feel different
which can end up feeling quite alienating for
this rare type. In fact, the INFJ is born with
a noticeably old-soul mentality that grants them
a greater understanding of certain life concepts,
but these understandings require them to go inward
- which is one of the main reasons the INFJ tends
to keep to themselves. Soin other words, most
INFJ’s grow up to accept that they will always
know their family members on a deeper level
than their family members will ever know them.
Number 2: They feel every bit of household tension
the INFJ carries a responsibility that most
family members fail to recognize. In fact,
aside from this challenging family duty, the
INFJ is also dealt with being a highly sensitive
empathetic type who can’t help but to sense and
absorb the feelings of the people around them.
While this allows the INFJ to understand their
loved one’s emotions on a deeper level in order to
properly meditate, it can also cause some serious
emotional issues should the INFJ be faced with a
chaotic family environment. Actually, at times,
the INFJ can subconsciously take on their family
member’s burdens without really realizing it,
which makes a tense and dispirited home especially
painful for the INFJ to manage. This is one of the
main drivers behind this mediator type’s need for
harmony within their outer environment - which
is the exact reason why they go above and beyond
to maintain the peace within their family unit.
Number 3: Their need for alone time may interfere
It’s a well known fact that this introverted
intuitive type requires a great deal of rest
and recharge time, alone in their solitude-haven.
But how does this affect their position within
a family? Well, since it’s so difficult for an
INFJ to really explain to the people around them
exactly why they require a temporary break
from life without seeming overly-dramatic
members, it can definitely cause some tension.
Whether the INFJ is in the family position
of a parent, partner or sibling - they may
hold back from expressing their needs to avoid
upsetting or burdening their loved ones. However,
if they neglect this need for alone time when
most necessary, they may find themselves being
rather impatient or snappy towards the ones they
love, which they only end up regretting later on.
their energy levels to avoid further tension or
disharmony within their family relationships.
An INFJs understanding and compassionate nature
definitely makes for an amazing family member
that anyone would be happy to have in their lives.
Yet, there are definitely times where this
need to see the best in the people they love
their sibling or family member needs guidance and
support and as a result, they tend to have a very
difficult time keeping to themselves. Of course,
all they want to do is help their loved ones,
even demanding at times. Luckily, because of
their strong analytical nature, eventually,
deliver their advice without seeming intrusive.
For an INFJ who grew up with siblings, they may
feel like their siblings are the only ones who
truly know them inside and out. Of course, taking
into consideration family dynamics and age gaps
between siblings, according to introvertdear.com,
most INFJs are quite close to their brothers and
sisters in adulthood. Since they’re so reluctant
to let their guard down completely in everyday
social scenarios, when an INFJ is surrounded
they can feel a noticeable sense of relaxation and
relief that they can’t find in most relationships.
the birth order theory, the INFJ only child
is extremely rare. Which makes researchers
believe that having siblings through childhood
Number 6: They can seem quite unpredictable
Most INFJs can probably recall a time when they
were told they were thought of as the one with
the most complex behaviour and decision-making
tendencies in the family. With contradictory
habits and elaborate out-of-the-box beliefs,
there’s no doubt the highly imaginative INFJ
brings a different dynamic to family settings.
With a big-pictured view of life and a need to
are called to make decisions in life that
may seem out of character. And..as a result,
conclusion-jumpers may see them as unpredictable;
or even unstable at times, when in reality, the
INFJ feels in complete control of their actions,
analyzing and committing to every direction they
take. What it all comes down to is the fact that
INFJs don’t always know how to (or necessarily
want to) communicate their reasoning behind
their seemingly unpredictable lifestyle, which
just adds to their already mysterious nature.
introspective personality type may compare their
beliefs and ideas to that of their parents and
siblings and eventually realize there’s something
seriously different about the way they see (and
feel) the world around them. As we mentioned,
the INFJ begins to understand early on in life
that they’re quite different from the people,
but when it comes to siblings and family members
that are exposed to the same surroundings and
lessons in childhood, INFJs can get stuck in a
rut of wondering why they are so different from
their family. This is especially true for INFJs
brought up surrounded by overly extroverted or
sensor personality types, for obvious reasons..
INFJs are truly sensitive to overly stimulating
surroundings for long periods of time, yet they
also don’t want to be seen as the person who wants
to leave early or cut the party short. In fact,
one of the INFJs biggest pet peeves is when
attention is drawn to them because of their
sensitive, seemingly melodramatic nature.
Whether it’s family gatherings, celebrations,
obligations, or anything that requires an INFJ
to make an appearance for longer than desired,
they can automatically make this introverted type
feel uneasy. Of course, to remain polite and avoid
conflict, INFJs usually end up biting the bullet
for the remainder of their expected presence.
Yet, once it’s over, you can be sure it will
be a near impossible task to convince them to
go again any time soon! Stubborn? Maybe..
But we’ll just call it “boundary setting”.
are you the only INFJ in your family? If so,
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