7 Reasons The Infj Rubs People The Wrong Way explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
Despite their inner caring, empathetic and
nurturing nature, INFJs aren’t everyones cup
of tea. With a reluctance to open up about
themselves and a deeply imaginative thought
process, some people can’t quite figure the INFJ
out. But how does it get to the point of rubbing
people the wrong way? Well.. that’s exactly
what we’re going to discuss in today’s video!
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INFJs need boundaries to effectively use their
empathic and intuitive functions.. But they’re
boundaries to the people that they affect.
In fact, sometimes it’s not until the heat of
the moment where an INFJ clues in that they’re
are some major boundaries that need to be set.
For example, if an INFJ finds themselves in a new
found relationship with someone who likes to show
public displays of affection such as kissing and
cuddling in public, instead of communicating that
they don’t enjoy it, they may just become distant,
This can make it considerably difficult for people
closest to the INFJ when it comes to knowing when
they’re overstepping these invisible boundaries.
And if it goes on for long enough, unfortunately
the consequence results in the people in an
INFJs life feeling as though they’re walking on
eggshells - never knowing when one might crunch!
With deep observations and endless analyzing
being two of the INFJ’s favorite past times,
anyone that has been around an INFJ can probably
say they’ve witnessed their analyzing-tendencies
in action. Yet, sometimes it can be taken
the wrong way.. Especially when someone is
the main focal point of their observation. In
fact, if you don’t know an INFJ well enough,
this deep analysis can look a lot like silent
judgment. The classic INFJ stare, for example, can
easily be misunderstood for negative intentions.
When in reality being observed by the INFJ should
be taken as a compliment, as the INFJ is only
drawn to people that they want to know more about.
And although most INFJs do have strong opinions
on matters, they are also deeply imaginative and
open-minded - meaning they always give people the
benefit of the doubt before making any judgments.
tendencies, the INFJ tends to carry themselves
with a reserved and mysterious demeanor that
can definitely make some people uncomfortable.
Although this seemingly peculiar behavior
much insight into who they are as people.
Unlike more extraverted types, the INFJ keeps
a lot of their inner thoughts and feelings to
themselves. They don’t need to share their
insights to know how interesting they are.
And so, to avoid misunderstandings they often
linger in the background of social scenarios
and keep to themselves. Yet unfortunately this
can make them seem like they’re up to no good or
just really not enjoying the company.. Which
may or may not be true - no judgment here INFJs!
You’re probably thinking “Why would wanting to
help make other people uncomfortable?”.. Well,
in a world of give and take, most people can’t
fathom the fact that INFJs actually get a thrill
out of lending a hand. For example, when it comes
to careers, INFJs usually opt for something
that helps humanity in one way or another,
with the money coming as a secondary reward.
right! Who would turn down a higher paying job to
help humanity?”.. Well my friends, INFJs.. INFJs
would. Yet, to some people, they may think
INFJs only claim to want to help others to
make them seem like good people, or maybe to
win some brownie points in a job interview.
In reality, however, this is a quality that INFJs
almost don’t have the option to overlook. While
they can understand the attraction to money, their
empathetic nature drives them to need some type of
emotional reward that money can’t provide.
A reward that most people can go without.
Speaking of walking on eggshells, INFJs are prone
to sudden shifts in their frame of mind when under
high-stress. Although they’re usually able to work
under pressure, when there’s too much expected of
them they can easily fall into their mood-swinging
ways. With extraverted sensing in particular, when
someone with the INFJ personality type is already
feeling burnt out, they can find that their mood
is a direct product of their environment. And as a
result, this lack of control over their mood and
high sensitivity to their surroundings can make
them seem extremely conditional and unpredictable
to the people around them. They can seem more
sensitive to criticisms, other people’s energies,
outer stimuli and changes of plans, than their use
to. Try to cheer an INFJ up in their low times and
you can easily expect a very uncharacteristic cold
shoulder or a brief reply hinting they want
to be left alone. This side of the INFJ that
usually only emerges when they’re stressed can
be seriously surprising for people to witness,
and can definitely rub them the wrong way.
INFJs can sometimes seem to play the role of
the guru nobody really asked for. Of course,
there are other personality types that actually
admire the INFJs ability to deep dive into the
likes to take most things. Especially when it
comes to conspiracies, spirituality, taboo topics,
unpopular opinions, controversial and personal
matters - some personality types tend to look
at the INFJ’s viewpoints as woo-woo or even
irrelevant. But, it’s not just that. In fact,
intimidating for certain types of people,
making them feel uncomfortable and vulnerable.
Well.. it’s not everyday that you’re challenged to
talk about the ulterior motives of the government
or the concept of humans being formed from stars..
Number 7: Wanting to know more about people
“So.. what was your childhood like?” Odd question?
Not to the INFJ! Speaking of deep-diving into
topics, there’s nothing an INFJ loves more than
getting to know what makes someone tick. Yet, when
you’re the topic of conversation, there’s no doubt
it can get a little uncomfortable for some people.
Especially when considering the fact that INFJs
are so reluctant to open up about themselves
in the first place, when they’re interested
in getting to know someone on a deeper level,
people uncomfortable. Of course, INFJs have their
ways of avoiding coming off as too overbearing or
intrusive, but some people don’t want to be the
centre of attention at all. And as a result, some
people may think the INFJ is reading them on a
level that they don’t even quite know themselves;
They may question why the INFJ wants to know
such things, and what benefit they get out
of it because of their inability to relate
have you ever rubbed someone the wrong way?
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