8 Significant Infj Pitfalls In Romance explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
connection, the INFJ doesn’t exactly rely
on the basis of relationships as other people
do. No matter if it’s romance or friendship,
this self-reliant type surely doesn’t make it easy
for people to maintain a position in their lives.
But why exactly does the INFJ do this and does
it affect their overall happiness in life?
Welcome or welcome back Psych-o! Today we’ll
be talking specifically about why INFJs ruin
relationships for themselves. Before we start,
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They Ignore Their Needs Until It’s Too Late
One of the most well-known signs of self-sabotage
is lack of communication when it comes to
boundaries and needs within relationships. And
unfortunately, the INFJ tends to be quite sure
of what they don’t want but unable to communicate
those needs to others in fear of hurting feelings
people with the INFJ personality type who have yet
to learn this harsh lesson tend to put off those
needs until it’s too late. Whether it’s intuitive
hunches, personal boundaries, or serious manners,
while they’re tactic of keeping the peace
may end up doing exactly that in the moment,
INFJs can definitely let things slide to the point
of it coming back around to bite them in the but.
INFJs are givers, but sometimes they can be
so reluctant to take that they wind up in
self-imposed unbalanced relationships. While
it feels rewarding and effective at the start
others, overtime they begin to realize that
the people in their lives may not be doing
as much for them as the INFJ tends to do.
Ironically, some INFJs don’t actually realize
that giving too much can be so detrimental to
their otherwise successful relationships. And
because of that, they can end up pointing the
finger at their spouses or close friends for
not caring as much as they’d like them to,
when in reality, the INFJ is the one that
nature can also attract the wrong people who
have no intentions of a balanced give and take
relationship with the INFJ in the first place.
And in these times, the INFJ would rightfully
resort to nothing other than the infamous door
ruining a relationship that needs ruining.
Number 3: They Don’t Want To Break Any Hearts
Empaths and lovers, the INFJ gets seriously
uncomfortable when hurting other people’s
feelings. In fact, this is one of the main
reasons they can have such trouble setting
necessary boundaries in their relationships.. much
like the boundary of how much to give and take
like we just discussed. But in this case, the fact
that INFJs tend to avoid being upfront about their
feelings about others can be the cause of ruining
particular relationships. INFJs simply don’t want
to break the hearts of the people they aren’t
interested in. And because this introspective type
needs a little more time than the average person
to truly know if they’re interested in someone,
this can sometimes mean breaking things off at an
early stage in a relationship. Yet since they’re
not entirely direct about things, they can end up
beating around the bush while slowly distancing
themselves; essentially ruining the connection
without having to say it. Now, of course nobody
really wants to break that news, but in the case
of the INFJ empath, they’ll do whatever it takes
to avoid a harsh heartbreak, or at the very least
try to avoid witnessing the heartbreak in person.
Imagination to an INFJ is not only an escape from
mundane reality, but also a place they can explore
their deepest questions and ideas… As a matter of
fact, the INFJ is so in tune with their elaborate
inner reality that they can subconsciously
spend a little more time than they’d like to.
Or more particularly.. A little more time there
than their friends and family would like them to.
While it seems pretty normal for other intuitive
types, when the INFJ is in a romantic and platonic
connection with a personality type that doesn’t
rely on their inner minds as much, this habit
can become annoying to say the least. Sure, INFJs
are introverts and only have so much social energy
they can expend before they need to get back
inside their heads and recharge, but that doesn’t
make excuses for checking out mid conversation or
being mentally absent during significant moments.
The fact that INFJs aren’t always ‘here’ can
be a make or break for certain types, and
although they can try their best to avoid it, the
INFJs' introverted intuition isn’t going anywhere!
Speaking of spending too much time in their
own heads, INFJs are always thinking of the
next best move they should be making. They’re on
a never ending journey towards self improvement
and worldly discovery, even if it’s just from
inside the comfort of their own home. They’re
always considering a new hobby, a new career path,
a new way of living, a new challenge, a new diet,
you get the drift. INFJs can’t stay still for too
long without feeling dull and stagnant in life.
And unfortunately, for the INFJs that have yet to
realize this about themselves, they can get quite
bored in certain connections causing them to feel
like they’ve outgrown the relationship entirely.
In romantic connections, it may be due to the fact
that they think they could find someone better,
or more intune with their new interests. While
in a friendship it looks more like questioning if
certain friends are considered helpful or harmful
to their growth. Of course, INFJs aren’t entirely
open to new connections either, which can leave
them in a predicament of feeling held back or
anchored down by the relationships in their lives.
INFJs are idealists. In life, in love and in
their personal relationship with themselves,
but that’s just not always the case. In fact,
INFJs can easily fall in love with the idea
it's entirely different. They set self-made
expectations and beliefs about people only
to come to find out that they were way off,
so off that their excitement for a new connection
is replaced with disappointment in their own
abilities to understand people. But instead
of communicating this; which would be quite
difficult to put in words without being harsh..
The INFJ instead may attempt to push people
past their short-comings and closer to the
ideal they’ve set out for them. While it may
be closer to technically being encouraged to
better themselves, INFJs can definitely seem
intrusive and even overbearing at times, which is
risky behavior no matter the intentions behind it.
INFJs are masters at connecting pieces, solving
puzzles and noticing patterns in their outer
reality. They can effectively project future
outcomes with their pattern-finding skills,
which they then use to decipher which direction
to take. And it’s no different when it comes to
relationships for this intelligent type. While
these skills certainly serve the INFJ well when
it comes to pointing out red flags and ultimately
saving themselves from potential romantic
disasters, sometimes it causes more doubts than
needed. Because INFJs have the ability to detect
patterns, they think they know the future of a
connection - jumping to conclusions on how the
relationship will end before it even starts. They
may pay special attention to the things they are
skeptical about within the connection, nit-picking
behavior in hopes of coming closer to a more solid
conclusion. While this quite obviously can
become toxic for the people being nit-picked,
if the INFJ doesn’t realize this behavior,
soon enough they’ll find themselves unable
to ever let loose and enjoy new connections,
something that most INFJs already struggle with.
One thing that’s for sure is that INFJs don’t
necessarily always ruin relationships by accident.
a huge sense of relief once they’ve cut ties.
And so they’re not exactly opposed to the
idea. One example of this would be someone
If this introverted type feels like too much is
expected of them within a connection - whether it
be romantic or platonic - they can intentionally
retreat until their disinterest is apparent.
to someone only to be not taken seriously,
or faced with replies like “Oh, live a little!”
or “Come on, you have to get out more”.. They’ll
begin mentally preparing for a relationship that
will soon dwindle away. Unfortunately, INFJs need
to be met in the middle when it comes to this
aspect of themselves or they won’t last long.
Well, that's it for today’s video, PSYCH-Os! So,
have you ever blatantly ruined a relationship in
your life? Was it on purpose or do you still
think of what you could have done differently?
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