The Dark Side Of Every Infj’S Idealist Temperament explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
Deep-rooted idealism, similar to many of the
other INFJ traits, come as both a blessing
and a curse. With such a vivid imagination and
creative mind, this personality type can’t help
but to see the world through an idealistic lens.
However, despite the beauty this ability brings,
challenges it pushes the INFJ to overcome.
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Alright, let’s get right into it, starting with..
You may be asking, “What’s the problem with
continuous self-betterment?” And to that, we say,
it’s not a problem if it’s balanced correctly.
For the INFJ, however, self-improvement is not
the thoughts and actions taken for the sake of
self-improvement puts a lot of pressure on them,
sometimes to the point of sabotaging their
own happiness. Instead of passively improving
oneself and doing the best they can to remain
on the healthier and motivated side of things,
the INFJ’s idealistic outlook and self-observation
leads them to continuously pick apart every aspect
of their being. Looks, habits, money, personality,
self-development, social life, spirituality,
and the list goes on, INFJs can’t help but be
better and do better in every sense of the matter,
even if that means giving up what they enjoy.
In fact, INFJs can justify pretty much anything
Number 2: Being seen as a rebellious trouble-maker
Ask any INFJ and they’ll tell you, although they
don’t necessarily care what others think of them,
they strive to come off as a kind and capable
individual. They prefer not to ruffle any
feathers, and will sometimes even put their own
preferences aside in order to avoid conflict and
confrontation. Then there are the times when
their idealism says otherwise. Sometimes this
idealist temperament every INFJ has, leads
them to break certain rules and regulations.
With such a vivid view of how some things
should be, or how some processes should go,
INFJs may justify some of their rebellious
It’s not exactly their way or the highway, but
rather, an experiment of just how accurate their
envisioned outcome plays out when they go with
their own idealistic route compared to the route
that’s in place. Luckily, due to their empathy,
optimism and deep understanding of the world,
Martin Luther King’s movement is a prime example
of this non-conformist rebellion, and his speech
“I Have a Dream” provides a close look into
a true INFJ’s idealistic view on the world.
It’s no secret that this introverted intuitive
type would prefer to spend time processing their
thoughts and wallowing in their imagination
than socializing with their external world.
dreamer type, with two feet on the ground,
but their head in the clouds. However, despite
their introverted intuition and thinking playing
a huge role in this dreamer persona, it’s
actually their idealistic perception that
makes others think that maybe the INFJ isn’t
as grounded as they lead onto. This idealism,
like they can’t grasp the harsher aspects of
reality. It makes them seem as if they see
the world through fantasy-blinders, deeming
them naive and immature. It’s as if that,
because they truly have a probable solution
that in the INFJ’s world, these problems don’t
exist. Of course, the actuality of the matter is
that these problems are not only very apparent to
the INFJ, but they can be considered so apparent
that they haunt the INFJ, leaving them no choice
but to try their best to process a solution.
Holding high standards for yourself and others is
known to be a sign of self respect and confidence.
Knowing your value and capabilities allows you
to motivate yourself to try new things while also
setting standards for who you allow into your
life. For the INFJ type, these are all true,
and without their idealistic standards, they
wouldn’t be able to achieve certain milestones
and connections in their life. Yet, on the other
side of things, it’s this very idealistic outlook
that also makes it difficult to live in the
moment and simply accept things as they come.
Whether it be a new potential friendship, a job
position, a living circumstance, a new experience,
or the results of their hard work, the INFJ brain
can’t help but to think of all the ways something
could have been, or should be, better. Despite
their non-judgemental attitude, INFJs can see the
potential of people and situations, and with that,
they can easily see just how those people and
situations aren’t living up to that potential. Not
only is this extremely frustrating for the INFJ
themselves, but it also places a certain amount of
pressure on the people around them to live up to
this vision the INFJ has for them. For the INFJ,
rarely do things exceed their expectations, often
leading them to have to settle for the mundanity
they’ve created through their perception.
Speaking of nothing ever really being good
enough, INFJ idealism is the source of their
seemingly never-ending disappointments in life.
Sure, they have the optimism and creativity to
envision a better way, but the reality of things
is often what wins in the end. In this world,
things aren’t perfect, ideal or even fair
most times. And with their ability to see
the potential for things to be perfect, ideal and
fair, as well as the creative route it takes to
achieve that, this harsh reality can be extremely
disappointing for the INFJ type. When it comes to
certain friendships and relationships, it’s this
envisioned potential that keeps the INFJ around,
hoping that one day they will witness a different
version of those they hold onto. They tend to
idolize those they meet, preferring to see the
best in them and remain blinded to the reality
of their negative habits and traits. Yet, when the
truth sets in and becomes impossible to look past,
disappointment after disappointment often
Number 6: They never celebrate their wins
they’ve worked so hard for? Well, with such
perfectionism at hand, reaching those milestones,
achievements and wins in life that people
normally pride themselves on just don’t do the
same for the INFJ. Even if the INFJ doesn’t
criticize how they could have done better,
or analyze where they went wrong, despite coming
out on top, it doesn't take long for the INFJ
to begin ruminating about the next steps. They
don’t take the time to stop to celebrate their
hard-earned accomplishments and even external
validation only goes so far. Their idealism
makes it seem as if these achievements are simply
the bare minimum results of their capabilities,
like an obvious outcome to all their hard work.
They’re not surprised when they achieve things
due to their past idealistic visions, and so,
they don’t spend much time thinking about it.
finding an appropriate career path is one
of the most challenging journeys. As we said,
INFJs tend to settle for things in life as a
result of their understanding that there’s a
big contrast to their idealistic hopes and the
reality of the world. One difficult example of
this is finding a path in life that both suits
and sustains them. Marching to the beat of their
own drum, it’s not uncommon for the INFJ to step
outside of the societal norm when it comes to
career paths, in order to build something of
their own. They have dreams and creative visions
that are rooted in their idealistic nature. Dreams
of a career that helps others and solves the
world’s problems while also providing them
the adventurous and balanced life they long for.
Some INFJs chase these dreams and the results are
everything they ever hoped for. Others achieve
them, only to find that it’s not as ideal as
they envisioned. And most tend to settle for that
job that goes against every idealistic view they
have because life simply got the best of them.
Of course, it’s never too late to follow any
sort of idealistic dream, as long as there’s
a touch of logic and realism to back it up.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today.. So, what
would you say is your biggest struggle when it
comes to being an idealist INFJ? Let us know in
the comments below! Also, make sure to leave us
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