10 Signs You Need Major Self Help As An Infj explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
The INFJ type is known to be one of the more
level-headed, old-soul-like personalities. Through
their wisdom and maturity, they’re usually the
ones people turn to for honest advice. However,
require some self-help advice of their own.
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Alright, let’s get right into it, starting with..
Number 1: Your ego has taken over your gifts
their answer will almost certainly be yes. While
many INFJs feel distinct from those around them,
a healthy INFJ leverages their uniqueness to
help others without judgment. In contrast, an
unhealthy INFJ might interpret their differences
as superiority. They may become pretentious about
their abilities, believing themselves to be
better or more valuable than other personality
types. This perspective not only takes away
from their natural empathy towards others,
something a mature INFJ would find difficult to
do. Overall, this can lead them to unfairly label
other types - seeing perceivers as lazy, thinking
types as cold-hearted, and sensing types as
narrow-minded - when, in truth, every personality
type has its own strengths and weaknesses.
INFJs have an undeniable gift of reading people’s
character. INFJs possess an undeniable gift for
reading people. They use others' energies, moods,
body language, facial expressions, tone of voice,
and wording to understand how they’re feeling,
what they’re thinking, and whether or not they’re
enjoying the INFJ’s company. A mature INFJ has the
ability to use these insights as part of a larger
context, without misinterpreting them. However,
when it comes to an INFJ who requires a little
self-help, there’s a little hypersensitivity to
these cues, leading to paranoia about others'
which can cause them to misinterpret body
dislike or exaggerated affection. They may
ruminate on simple gestures, imagining different
meanings behind seemingly unimportant acts of
communication, which ultimately benefits no one.
Just like their hypersensitivity to body and
language, let’s just say, an INFJ who is in
need of a little self-help often has a difficult
time not taking everything personally. When this
personality type hasn’t taken the time to truly
understand their sensitive nature, they can
interpret every form of criticism as a personal
attack, ultimately creating a victim mentality.
Since the self-critical INFJ type is already
naturally perfectionistic and hard on themselves,
a simple critical comment can act as the tipping
point to their self sabotage and isolation. Plus,
the fact that they often neglect the importance
of taking the necessary time for self-praise
and reflecting on their accomplishments only
makes matters worse. They might even adopt a
'misunderstood misfit' attitude as a way to
cope with or hide their hurt feelings. This
can ultimately lead them to shut certain people
out simply because their feelings were hurt,
Number 4: You avoid disagreements like the plague
While it’s fair to say that the conflict avoidant
INFJ would prefer to flee a debate rather than
argue, an unhealthy INFJ has no time for hearing
another person’s view on the matter. Instead of
the usually friendly debate that most people with
this personality type prefer in order to better
understand the perspective and viewpoints of
others, an unhealthy INFJ may state their opinion
with a close-ended view, making it obvious that
it’s not up for discussion. An INFJ who is yet to
understand their stubborn tendencies can become
very attached to their subjective viewpoint,
expressing it as a matter of fact and defending
it at all costs. This tendency to flee during
debates can stem from various factors or past
experiences that an INFJ has encountered. However,
Altruistic at heart, the INFJ personality type
is known for helping others whenever they can.
Besides feeling morally obligated to lend a hand,
this personality type actually really enjoys
assisting loved ones and strangers in their day to
day life. However, the burden of extreme empathy,
combined with the desire to be everyone's hero
can be extremely draining. For INFJs who haven't
yet mastered boundary-setting, this can lead to
toxicity. A healthy INFJ can maintain a balance
by effectively drawing energy from others'
happiness and harmony while still prioritizing
their own needs. Conversely, an INFJ who is in
need of a little self-help struggles to say no,
often resulting in bitterness towards those
they assist. They might keep a mental tally
of their good deeds and compare it to what
they receive in return, fostering resentment.
Number 6: Your privacy is rooted in toxicity
The introverted INFJ is naturally private and
known for being a solo-traveler in this trip
called life. They value their time alone and
utilize their isolation periods to recharge
value this time to themselves in private,
an INFJ who needs a little self-reflection
can take this need for privacy to an extreme.
Lacking trust in the world and its people,
thoughts and feelings out of fear of judgment
or misunderstanding. This can lead them to
withhold their true selves from those around
them, including romantic partners, friends,
and family, resulting in a very lonely and
and the confidence to share their feelings in
order to feel balanced and true to themselves.
When stress gets the best of the INFJ, or
any other personality type for that matter,
a mental switch flips causing our dominant
function to relinquish certain decision-making
responsibilities to our underdeveloped inferior
functions. This is known as “falling into the
grip” or “grip stress.” When experiencing this
'grip stress' reaction, an INFJ who is usually
focus excessively on sensory indulgences like
binge-eating, over-exercising, binge-watching TV,
overspending, and other behaviors typically
uncharacteristic of their balanced nature.
INFJs might engage in these activities to quiet
their overactive minds and ground themselves
in something enjoyable and physical. While
occasional indulgence isn't entirely unhealthy,
an unhealthy INFJ may repeatedly resort to these
behaviors, especially during stressful periods.
can empathize deeply and understand different
perspectives, even in challenging situations.
While this empathy should be seen as a valuable
gift that allows them to assist others, a healthy
INFJ eventually realizes the importance of setting
boundaries to protect themselves. For the INFJ who
is in need of some self-help, their strong desire
to assist others can overshadow red flags and
troubling experiences. They may make excuses for
people's toxic behavior, enabling others to take
advantage of them. INFJs might deceive themselves
with internal justifications and also defend these
individuals to concerned friends and family who
observe the situation from an outside perspective.
perfectionism is considered an understatement.
While certain INFJs who are experiencing a more
evolved version of the personality type are
able to use their perfectionistic ways to
encourage them to create and to the best of their
abilities, unhealthy INFJs can easily become
trapped in a toxic cycle of self-criticisms and
unrealistically high-standards. It’s as if they
have an inner critic that is constantly rebuking
every decision they make, draining the INFJ of
all of their motivation. This mindset can lead
them to certain uncharacteristic behaviors such
as double or triple re-reading texts before
hitting send, overthinking the words they
use when speaking, spending an unnecessary
amount of time on simple tasks, and the list
goes on. With their mind constantly working in
overdrive, it becomes extremely difficult to get
the simplest of tasks done with their nagging
brain always telling them they can do better.
their deeper motivation involves self-growth
and learning. Many INFJs experience phases
leading them to neglect themselves in the
process. Without the balance between giving
to their own feelings. In this unhealthy state of
mind, an INFJ may neglect their own emotions and
needs while prioritizing helping others. Although
this behavior is not exactly uncommon for INFJs,
it's crucial for them to bring their own emotions
to the forefront and address them effectively
before they dig themselves a hole they can’t climb
out of.. Ultimately, an unhealthy INFJ can lose
sight of their own importance, forgetting
that they, too, deserve care and attention.
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