The Antidote To The Infj’S Irrational Fear Of Conflict explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
conflicts from time to time is one of the
many beauties of the human experience. And
yet, although inevitable, the INFJ usually
resorts to handling conflict resolution by
avoiding it at all costs. Although seeming
balanced on the outside, conflict affects the
INFJ more deeply than they’d like to admit,
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Alright, let’s get right into it, starting with..
Self-improvement is the foundation to most of the
INFJ’s motivation in life. Self-critical at heart,
this personality type is always looking for
ways to better themselves mentally, spiritually
and physically. So, what better way to begin
practicing their conflict-avoidant therapy than
to label it as a route to self-betterment. Whether
it’s in the way the INFJ can’t help but to tell
people what they want to hear in order to keep
the peace, or how they see certain disagreements
as a failure of their idealistic concept of
harmonious relationships, conflict avoidance is
a deep subconscious habit that INFJs must learn to
grow out of. In fact, the inability to speak your
truth is a clear sign of immaturity and can become
so noticeable that others may consider the INFJ as
spineless and timid. Once the INFJ can see that
conflict is a normal and healthy component of a
proper communicative relationship, they’ll begin
to notice just how useful being upfront can be.
Number 2: Understand that facing conflicts
If there’s one thing that the INFJ personality
type can’t avoid, it’s their need to live within
their personal ideals, morals and values.
themselves to practice their personal standards
and aren’t persuaded away from these deeply-held
beliefs due to outside influence and pressure.
True personal integrity requires one to align
their personal behaviors and actions with
their own values, principles, and ethics. So,
matter may temporarily preserve their peace,
it takes a major toll on their highly valued
personal integrity. As much as they value harmony,
integrity is a crucial aspect of the INFJ’s
personality that inevitability only fuels this
type’s internal disharmony when not practiced
properly. It’s a sign of self disrespect,
and really only damages the INFJ and their
own acknowledged authenticity in the long run.
Not only does speaking up benefit the INFJ in
tremendous ways, but it’s not a stretch to say
that the INFJ who speaks their mind no matter the
pots they may stir, actually help make the world
a better place! Many great leaders and teachers
were outside-of-the-box thinkers with visions,
insights and ideas that, if weren't spoken into
existence, could have left humanity without some
of the greatest inventions and discoveries. The
INFJs' odd thinking patterns not only set them
apart from the rest, but actually have the power
to provide fellow thinkers with insights they
would never have considered. One simple example
would be the fact that about 73% of the world
are sensors, meaning they focus more on past,
present, and what they can observe with their
5 senses. It’s not in their cognitive makeup
to even consider patterns, meanings and future
opportunities like the INFJ tends to resort to
naturally. Most people don’t realize just how
beneficial it is to have an INFJ in their group.
INFJs offer vital information and course-changing
ideas that would be shameful to miss out on
simply due to the fear of ruffling some feathers.
Another major reason the INFJ prefers to keep
quiet and remain agreeable is due to the simple
fact that they simply don’t have the confidence
to believe their opinion is worthy of expressing.
Since the typical INFJ tends to view the world
through a very different lens than most people, it
makes sense as to why they would think their ideas
or opinions may be invalid or taboo. Of course,
as we discussed in our previous point, this simply
isn’t the case. And so, while it may be difficult
to believe and practice at first, luckily, the
more the INFJ shares their thoughts despite
the possibility of conflict, the more they will
come to see just how necessary sharing their view
really is. Sure, at first, it’ll feel completely
unnatural, and even cocky at times to share their
opposing thoughts on certain matters, but as time
goes on, their confidence will speak for itself,
allowing others the willingness to listen to
what they have to say and respecting the fact
that they can speak their unique introspection
despite the possibility of being shut down.
While avoiding speaking up in order to keep the
peace seems like a logical tactic in some regards,
it doesn’t take a genius to understand that it’s
only a matter of time before it comes back to
bite the INFJ in the but. In fact, one detrimental
factor that lies behind this seemingly fool-proof
tactic is that the INFJ’s unexpressed and often
internally-ignored emotions will bottle up.
Instead of expressing themselves in a healthy
manner, INFJs will smile and nod until their
buried emotions and opinions are bursting at the
seams. If the conflict is serious enough, this is
when this otherwise calm and collected personality
type can’t help but to tell it like it really is,
in the worst way possible. Or, the other possible
outcome is the INFJ resorting to avoiding that
individual altogether. What once was but a small
issue that could easily be discussed and sorted
out becomes a major problem that causes the INFJ
to lose control of how they resolve it. And so,
when the INFJ practices speaking their mind
within the first whisper of their logical brain,
Social chameleons and energy-adapters, the
extroverted feeler INFJ type is known for their
easy-going and agreeable nature. They not only
have the habit of siding with certain people due
to their avoidance of argumentative discussions,
but with their ability to see things from all
angles, the INFJ can usually see where people are
coming from with their viewpoints. They don’t only
agree for the sake of agreeing, but instead,
because they see the truth in even the most
opposing stances. Because of this, some people
may disrespect the INFJ’s opinion all together
due to the fact that they're probably just
going to tell them what they want to hear.
This approach attracts those who rather have their
egos stroked and their opinions validated rather
than the people who want genuine honesty. Not
to mention, when people can’t read between the
lines of this agreeableness, it leaves them to
make their own assumptions about where the INFJ
really stands on certain matters. Although this
personality type has the ability to be bluntly
honest with the people they care about, when
it comes to mediating acquaintances at work,
the INFJ can be considered too agreeable.
According to the book: The Body Keeps the
Score, “As long as you keep secrets and
suppress information, you are fundamentally at
war with yourself…The critical issue is allowing
yourself to know what you know. That takes an
enormous amount of courage.” While conflict
avoidance isn’t exactly secret keeping, there’s
an underlying similarity of the INFJ preference
of keeping their opinions to themselves that
has the same physical effect. Inexpression
not only causes this introverted intuitive a
great deal of mental and spiritual pressure,
but if significant enough, can actually end
up harming the INFJ’s physical wellbeing down
the line. When the INFJ chooses to belittle
themselves by being voluntarily submissive
that are far outside their moral code, or
withholding information to keep the peace,
INFJs who make it a habit of biting their
speaking up, often end up with mysterious,
unexplainable physical ailments and pains.
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today.. So, let
us know in the comments below how you handle
conflicts and tough times as an INFJ personality
type. Also, make sure to leave us a like,
our channel so that you never miss a video!
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