5 (+1) Things Infjs Do After Unintentionally Hurting Someone'S Feelings explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
The horror! The shock! When an INFJ offends
another person in any way, you can be sure they’ll
be stuck ruminating about it for hours.. Maybe
even days. But, what comes after? How does the
empathic INFJ go about forgiving themselves and
mending the bond after hurting someone's feelings?
discussing the 5 things most INFJs do after
unintentionally hurting someone's feelings.
But before we get into it we’d love it if
as well as to click the post notification
“Maybe I can play it off cool and cover it up with
some self-deprecating humor” .. Sound familiar
INFJs? If you’ve ever accidentally slipped and
said something too brutally honest to someone that
isn’t quite ready to hear it. Or maybe you’ve said
something with flattering intentions and it came
out completely different than how it sounded
in your head? Ya.. it’s a terrifying moment
for everyone involved. INFJs are kind creatures,
and when they say something considerably rude and
out of character they can end up feeling just
as shocked as their opponent. Yet one thing for
sure is that they won’t be oblivious to it. If
anything, when this introverted intuitive type
notices they’ve said something relatively
offensive they may begin stumbling over their
subconsciously collect all the information they
need to later rehearse and ruminate about it,
Unfortunately, this anxiousness becomes notably
heightened when they’ve accidentally upset someone
in front of a larger group of people. Being on the
spot, with all eyes on them is the perfect recipe
but when it comes to people intentionally hurting
other people’s feelings, they just don’t see the
common sense in it. And so, when they feel
accused of this preposterous act, they can’t
imagine how the other person must view them. But
more importantly, how the other person is feeling.
INFJs are extremely attuned to the feelings
of others, oftentimes more than their own. So,
if this unintentional occurrence happened
in-person and the INFJ was able to capture the
reaction of their hurt opponent, you can be sure
this empathetic type absorbed the shift in mood.
If they witnessed the change in facial expression
or body language from confident to self-conscious,
or comfortable to fidgety, they will hold that
image in their mind for a long time. Yet, most
of the time they won’t do anything in the moment
because they freeze; they haven’t calculated this
into their possibilities of occurrences. Not to
mention, INFJs are known to be quite self-critical
Because of this, INFJs can end up feeling
For example, if an INFJ teacher accidentally
terrified that it may happen again, tearing
themselves up that they’re not a good teacher.
something a little too-truthful to their wife,
they may end up feeling more guilt than their
spouse feels upset, prolonging the situation more
than it needs to be. So.. how do they approach
the situation after feeling utterly at fault?
INFJs are extremely self critical, but that
doesn't mean they don’t try to find ways to
let themselves off the hook. When it comes to
unintentionally hurting someone’s feelings,
the INFJ may at first be mortified and confused,
but after a while, their introverted intuition
they gathered from the scenario. They put
their emotional reactions on the back-burner and
try to get to the route of the situation, and
where things ultimately went wrong. They begin
to ask their typical deeper questions like
“would what I said have bothered other people?”,
“Was it my tone, was it my body language, was I
overbearing?”, “Does this person have a deep-set
insecurity that I accidentally triggered”?..
Sometimes these questions lead the INFJ to an
understanding that it wasn’t their fault at
all! And other times..they learn their lesson
of where they went wrong and may have to deal
with a little guilt and shock because of it. At
the end of the day, however, whether the INFJ was
in the right or the wrong, they ultimately
don’t want another person’s feelings hurt.
And so, this is right around the time where the
INFJ begins to decide to A) Take action towards
again. Which brings us to our next point..
Number 4: They decide between repairing or running
Depending on the severity of the situation, the
connection with the person being offended, and the
INFJ’s intuitive conclusions about the scenario,
they’ll finally get a move on with things. While
this empathetic type’s first instinct is to
apologize (which they most likely already did
in the moment), sometimes they just can’t bother
re-opening that can of worms. Whether they’re too
embarrassed to admit their accidental short-coming
to someone’s face, or they can’t bear the idea of
possibly being challenged on it, ultimately
stirring the pot further. Sometimes vanishing
out of the person’s life or avoiding them at all
costs seems like the most ideal conclusion.. If
it’s feasible that is. If not, they’ll go with
repairing the connection, even if it’s not
necessarily their first instinct. They definitely
don’t want to burn bridges if they don’t have to.
On rare occasions where they have no chance to
repair or intentionally vanish, INFJs can convince
themselves that they may be overreacting. They may
mentally confess that sometimes feelings get hurt,
and that’s just one of the many beauties of
human interaction. In these infrequent instances,
it gives the INFJ a chance to feel a little
more unapologetically themselves. In fact,
this is also true when it comes to the INFJ
door slam. If they knew it needed to be done,
they can certainly stand behind their power
and not bring oodles of guilt along with them.
Now, when it comes to someone they truly care
about, or at least someone they’ve concluded
always prefer to go the texting, emailing,
or even the letter-writing route. Since they have
a much easier time organizing and communicating
their thoughts with a pen and paper rather than
being put on the spot, written apologies are
actually the INFJ’s way of being the most sincere.
In fact, INFJs can get so caught up in observing
the other person’s emotions when attempting to
apologize in person that it can likely backfire..
Leaving them with no words to describe why they
said what they said. Actually, the combination of
their loud introverted intuition and extraverted
feeling functions can certainly be to blame as
However, it’s a little different when they’ve
upset someone in their closest circle. INFJs may
find creative ways to make it up to their loved
ones who they’ve accidently upset, using their
extensive documented knowledge of what makes them
tick. They may choose to take an indirect romantic
approach when it comes to their love life, yet,
they take the more sentimental route with their
Now, when it comes to the unaccepted apology,
INFJs can feel a serious blow to their self
esteem and self worth. Of course, depending on
the situation, some confident INFJs can better
play off the ‘I don’t care’ attitude, but other
times they can fall into a serious downward spiral
of self-blame and lack of confidence in their
ability to properly communicate their thoughts.
Especially if their apology was turned down
due to disbelief of the INFJ’s genuinity,
or if it was a first-impression scenario,
so many times that they begin to blow certain
aspects of the situation out of proportion. They
may take measures like holding themselves
back from certain friends groups or family
members temporarily out of embarrassment and
the inability to properly explain themselves.
Luckily, eventually once an INFJ stops making
such a big deal of it in their minds, it stops
seeming like such a big deal on the surface.
So, if you’re an INFJ personality type, have
you ever accidentally offended someone? Let us
know what you did about it in the comments
below! Also, make sure to leave us a like,
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