20 Infjs Explain How They Got Over A Breakup explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
character, yet the positives are difficult
to see when they’re in the middle of it all..
So, how do you get over a breakup as an INFJ?
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Alright, let’s get right into it, starting with..
“I analyze and re-analyse what, why and how it
happened; reflect on what could be done better;
on how this could serve as a life lesson.
I also vent and express these thoughts to
ear to you. I also either spend a lot more
time praying and talking to God, or binge
“I try to hold on to the good memories and
accept that we gave it our all. Sometimes,
love each other with everything you have to
give. Sadly, sometimes what we can give and
what someone wants/needs are two entirely
give is to accept that it happened and never
regret it. It was worthwhile no matter what.”
mechanisms set in. Some of the ways to keep
my healing healthy is to write things down,
go on walks, and mostly talk it out though
“I try to find out the reason behind it. Then I
tell the story to my closest friend(s). I cry if
I need to cry. If possible, I clear it up with
the ‘heartbreaker.’ My advice to other INFJs:
Accept it wholeheartedly, get used to it,
and stay focused on moving on. Accept that
you still love them, get used not to have
them by your side, and don’t find (or even
think about finding) a way to get back together
with them (unless your closest friends say you
should. Friends usually have a more objective
point of view than you do post-heartbreak).”
“Time is going to be the biggest healer of
heartbreak. It already takes so much of it
to get close to someone, and when your heart gets
broken, it will take awhile before you can open it
up again. Just know you can’t judge the future by
what has happened in the past. Go forward with a
new and hopeful outlook. You’ll naturally be on
guard, but if you do not open up again, you’ll
stay in the same place. Take care of yourself
first. Eat right. Exercise. Love and better
yourself, and the rest will fall into place.
Whatever you do, make sure you complete yourself
on your own. Do not get into another relationship
just to feel whole. The rest will fall in line.”
written record gives me peace of mind and
whether it be creating or spending time with
good friends for support. My advice would be
to find the balance between being by yourself
to process, and leaning on family and friends
to overwhelm. It’s really hard for anybody,
but we get through. I feel emotions really
deeply, and during heartbreak sometimes it’s hard
to separate my hurt with my ex’s hurt. Keeping
those separate is a huge part of it for me too.”
Number 8: Dive deep into creative expression
and recognise that most, if not all traits,
became what I loved about him…I cry and don’t
repress my feelings, I speak to those I trust
Number 9: Give yourself permission to mourn
“I give myself permission to be hurt and sad and
mourn for a specific period of time and then for
those number of days, I wallow as deep as I need
to go. Then on the specific day that it ends,
I go take a shower and get dressed and do my make
up and burn all the memories and walk away from
the heartbreak. Does it make it not hurt? Nope.
I am still a little sad, but I have decided to
move on and I do. The thoughts and the sorrow are
put away and I choose to think on better things.”
years to get over the loss of someone and
really that’s just more getting used to them
not being there anymore. Just to be clear,
I respect boundaries and keep within them,
the last thing I would ever want is them to
be bothered by me. But when I let someone
“When I’m heartbroken, I: Spend more time alone
than usual. Spend time connecting with nature.
When I am trying to process the situation,
I usually use a very trusted loved one as
a sounding board to evaluate the situation,
my contributions to it, and my next actions and
perspectives. I also tend to lose touch with
the physical world (lose appetite, insomnia, even
over exercise.) Engage your Se in a healthy way,
but don’t let it run the show. Discuss the
situation with one or two trusted loved ones.
Number 12: Long for the healed version of yourself
“As an INFJ, I experience what I go through
so deeply and painfully. One thing I learned
is that I had to simply embrace the heartbreak.
It took a long time and a lot positive self-talk
to tell you the truth. In order to get to
the other side of healing, I believe that
I just have to endure the pain. There will
be a day that my heart won’t ache anymore.”
“To be honest, I tend to stick with people
I decide FIRMLY that I will never go back,
so on. Then I force myself to get on with
Number 14: Find something to look forward to
“Listen to music, read, plan a trip to somewhere
I love. I just need to find something else to
look forward to, but music helps me to find some
kind of outlet for my sorrow. I journal, too.”
“I try to find ways that I can either improve
on past problems or work to not have the same
regrets in the future. As an INFJ, I’m a believer
in self-improvement and growth coming as a result
of suffering or tragedy, and I think that the
best thing to do when heartbroken is to grieve
but then move forward and find ways to become
an even better person for the next round.”
“I have a period of self loathing, doubt, and
insecurity marked by long days and nights with
my face curled into a towel retracing our entire
relationship to see where it went wrong. I’ll
finally muster up the courage to surround myself
with positive company and slowly try to recover.”
“Walk in the woods, or any place where solitude
finds you so you may feel the pain uninterrupted.
Do this until your mind tells you it is enough.
Continue to work so you remain still connected to
the outside world. It is easy for us INFJ’s to get
lost in the ocean of our feelings and thoughts.”
“When I’m heart broken, I automatically go to the
big picture. I try to break down what happened
into pieces that I can understand so I can find
the freedom to move on. I might not broadcast
my emotions but I do create space for me to
explore them. Denial will just keep me stuck
in one place. I think the biggest struggle for
me is when everything doesn’t seem to add up in
my mind and I have to accept the unknown for
what it is instead of what i want it to be.”
“You’ll have a lot of people telling you how to
get over it, but the thing I have found is that
you have to learn your own way. Ultimately, I
think take the time to reflect on what it is
you feel and why you are feeling that way. If
you can pick apart all those feelings, you can
deal with them one by one as the need arises.
Take your time; don’t rush the process because
you feel you owe it to that other person to move
on quickly, which being an INFJ, you probably do.
Instead just focus on yourself, and remember all
the ways you can live life fully on your own.”
“For a break-up, it is a very tough process of
trying to salvage everything – you experience
the extremes of self-blame, self-torture,
self-doubt and what not.. before you decide
to a break up or one sided crush, here is
my side of the story – I picked myself up
pretty fast only after I have figured out I
was in for bigger, better things in life.”
if you’ve ever had your heart broken as an
INFJ.. Also, make sure to leave us a like,
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