8 Things You Should Never Say To The Infj

8 Things You Should Never Say To The Infj explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.

the seemingly distant and analytical INFJ type has

its trigger points, causing their characteristic

So..what are some of the things you should

avoid saying to this empathetically driven type?

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so if they do let you close enough to them

the last thing you should be doing is making

them feel like this is a bad thing. Imagine being

insecure about sharing your feelings- especially

when experiencing them feels so alien to you

-and then the person you trusted with that

sensitivity tells you that your reaction is

when they get emotional, it’s important to not

target that emotion in the heat of the moment.

give them the requisite time and space to

heal and think their way to the conclusion.

Give them the chance to process their emotions,

and it’ll be better for everyone involved.

Number 7 - “You’re just not trying hard enough.”

INFJs define almost their entire self-worth by

their ability to attain and reflect the “perfect”

representation of their often unrealistic goals.

So while it might seem like telling them to

try harder is just showing some tough love,

it actually strikes at a really sensitive spot

for them. This is an even bigger deal if the INFJ

precarious relationship with work and success.

One thing that makes this harder to understand

they’re actually trying to do is find the

proper “formula.” For them it’s all about quality

over quantity, so don’t confuse their stillness

for a lack of action. And certainly don’t

imply that they’re not putting in the effort.

you’re better off being direct with them about

it. Because of their sensitivity, INFJs tend to

sense the emotions of others. This goes beyond

simply caring - if you say you feel one way,

but show that you feel another, that contradiction

will directly affect and upset them. Even worse,

emotions physically, it will literally cause them

physical distress. Which will only be compounded

with their confusion if they don’t understand

why they feel the way they do as you’re lying.

So while it might be tempting to put on a good

face and act like you’re okay, when it comes

to INFJs, you’re better off just being honest

and saying you don’t feel like sharing; sparing

both of you a lot of grief and confusion.

Number 5- “No one will ever understand you.”

INFJs quickly give up trying to explain their

“sixth sense” sort of awareness to others, but

the behavior it causes can still make building

friendships difficult. Just being unable to share

something so crucial to their nature can leave

many INFJs feeling isolated and misunderstood

in their surroundings. So as you might imagine,

you certainly don’t want to add onto that

If you truly don’t understand why they are the

way they are and want to be positive about it,

frame that ability as cool and unique. Show that

you’re grateful for having such a unique friend

INFJs are sometimes called the “extroverted

from how they can be passionate, enthusiastic, and

talkative when hanging out with people they enjoy,

It can be confusing to others why someone who

seems to have so much fun and is so personable

wouldn’t want to do other “extrovert-type”

Your INFJ probably won’t be club-hopping every

night, but they’ll guarantee a great time when

you do get them out and about. Just understand

that they march to the beat of their own drum,

meaning they will only go where they want to

go with who they want to spend time with. And

they’re not interested in altering that “flow”.

If you do want to try and get them out more,

recreate the scenario that they enjoy by including

the same people, going to the same place,

and so forth. This appeases their sense of

what’s most “right” for their enjoyment, much

like eating a meal they already know they like.

Number 3 - “You make it difficult to love you.”

INFJs can seem rather contradictory- they often

come across as both warm and engaging, but

also distant and cautious. These mixed signals can

be very off-putting when you’re on the other end.

It feels like you’re dealing with a sort of saint

or superhero vs having a personal relationship

with a friend or romantic partner. At the

Add onto that their particular “sixth sense” that

lets them peer into people’s true selves, and

often INFJs will speak to a deep-seated emotion

many people don’t want to discuss or share.

All this makes up a potentially very difficult

person to understand and, by extension, love.

Just understand that all of their understanding

and distance and affection is an expression of

just how caring and sensitive they truly are.

They don’t keep all these things in control

and at a given level because they don’t care, but

because they do care - more than most people would

or could. So rather than telling them they can be

difficult to love- something they likely already

know and feel -show them that you’re worth

trusting. Unlike other personality types,

comfort-focused, most INFJs always need to have

a cause. They’re always trying to help something

or someone - to make a difference in the world, no

matter how big or small. It could be something as

pedestrian as saving a roommate’s cat from a tree

or trying to show some kindness to a local rough

character, thinking that they would be different

with just a little kindness. Or this could take

the form of a grand plan to better the world in

some drastic way that may seem impossible to most.

Appropriately, Mother Teresa, Nelson Mandela,

Mahatma Gandhi, and Martin Luther King, Jr.

were all INFJs. Imagine just how daunting

all of their missions must have seemed at first,

and yet they all accomplished their goals at great

personal cost. If it’s broken, they’re going to do

their best to fix it — even at their own expense.

pointing out that they’ve taken too much on,

chances are they’ll interpret your comment not

as a well-meaning suggestion to give themselves

if it’s something you also feel passionate about,

offer to help in some capacity. Just make sure

you’ll help with their latest passion project

thinking that just believing someone else will

help is going to be enough… well, you’ll only

make things worse when you end up both a liar

and someone who betrayed their personal cause.

this curious type doesn’t like to generalize

groups of people. People with the INFJ personality

type are true human-behaviour enthusiasts,

observing and analyzing human interaction for as

long as they can remember. And with this wealth of

knowledge and understanding comes the realization

that people are nuanced and life isn’t as

black and white as we like to believe it is.

Meaning, there are hundreds of ways of doing

things the right way, and following the norm isn’t

exactly always the most logical decision. So,

hasty decisions about broad groups of people can

make an INFJ instantly put-off. Assumptions due

to characteristics, behavior, clothing style, and

other visuals are even worse.. So when it comes

to chatting with the INFJ, it’s better if you keep

your stereotypical generalizations to yourself!

So that's it for the 8 things you should never

say to an INFJ, PSYCH-Os.. So, if you're an

INFJ personality type, which of these 8 are

the worst? Let us know in the comments below

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