5 Ways Infjs Can Seriously Improve Their Communication Skills explores key ideas related to psychology, presented clearly and practically.
Considered one of the more extroverted of
social-battery life and a disinterest in small
talk, this independent personality type struggles
with communication skills more than people
would think. So.. what specifically does the
INFJ struggle with and what can they do about it?
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Being the social chameleons they are, INFJs
must know who it is they’re communicating
subconsciously without even thinking twice,
thanks to their extroverted feeling function.
However, it’s a little different to go into a
social setting knowing what to look for than
relying on these functions to run rampant.
Because realistically, sometimes they don’t have
the time to fully observe someone’s character
And in these times, INFJs try to both talk
and observe subconsciously, all at once rather
than combining the two to avoid distractions.
So, how does the INFJ approach this type of
scenario? Well, instead of skipping over small
talk, INFJs can find specific genres of small
talk that allow them the information they need.
Without getting too deep, INFJs can use their
same interest in figuring people out to ask
surface-level questions. This isn’t necessarily
to find out the answers to those questions
it earns the INFJs some time to use their other
processes of evaluation to work behind the scenes.
Knowing the characteristics of other personality
types really helps with this first step, as once
an INFJ has a rough guess of certain functions,
they can easily meet them on their level.
Secondly, it already helps an INFJ’s social
communication to simply know they’re an INFJ,
and why they have certain social behaviors. In
fact, for an INFJ to discover they’re an INFJ,
areas of their lives, with self-acceptance
being at the top of the list. Once an INFJ
understands themselves on a deeper level,
their self confidence becomes a little less murky
because they can stop questioning why they’re so
different from other people. However, it doesn’t
change the fact that it’s difficult for the INFJ
to explain some of the philosophical connections
they make and how they come to their conclusions.
In fact, they are constantly observing and
analyzing things and making connections that
most other people aren’t able to make, nevermind
begin to understand. Because of this, INFJs are
given their so-called ‘psychic’ stereotype. Yet,
not everyone will understand this, or believe it,
even after they have seen it in action, and
that alone can make for some seriously confusing
conversations for both parties. So, before diving
head-first into the realm of more philosophically
advanced conversations, INFJs should consider
dipping their toes in the water by starting at
the surface, to avoid any misunderstandings.
Afterall, people will only understand what
they’re willing and open to understanding, and
it’s no one's job to convince them otherwise.
As much as INFJs have in common with their fellow
INFJs, it’s far from the truth to think that each
INFJ doesn’t struggle with their own unique social
challenges. This is where communication skills
go beyond understanding how the INFJ brain works
and the social tendencies it comes with. Because
and some may have an underlying reason as to
why that’s the case. Things like social anxiety,
sensory issues, and past social traumas can
go far beyond the INFJ’s natural functions,
why they can’t relate to their fellow INFJs.
Ask yourself things like “What is it about
socializing that makes it challenging?” “Is
it every social setting/person or just specific
people that make socializing difficult?” “ Do
I make eye contact?” “Do I struggle with witty
remarks and fast replies?” “Do I freeze when I
don’t have an answer?” “Am I mono-tone and
expressionless?”.. With this information,
INFJs of all sorts can begin deciphering which
social habits need to be improved and which
they can rely on. It also helps them see which
traits are wired and which are environmental,
before being influenced by others emotions
INFJs can either feel extremely comfortable around
someone or completely alienated and out of place,
especially when it comes to new social settings.
And the unfortunate part is that it has little to
do with people’s characters and more to do with
the energy and emotions they’re feeling that day.
Because INFJs naturally adapt and adjust their
inner emotions to match the frequency of those
around them, socializing can send them some
serious curve balls that nobody else would be
unable to decipher their thoughts and feelings or
even who those thoughts and feelings belong to.
They can wind up feeling dull and upset after
socializing with someone who is down on their luck
with no way to find within themselves where
those feelings are coming from. Or, they may feel
instantly uplifted and inspired after speaking
with someone who’s in a good spot in life without
realizing where this new found burst of energy
came from. Luckily, with a little practice and
continuous reminders, INFJs can recognize where
their feelings end and where another’s begin.
Lastly, my dear INFJs, is to not be so darn hard
on yourselves! Nobody said it was easy to navigate
through life as an individualistic introvert
with a deep longing for human connection.
when there's a distracting inner voice criticizing
the words you choose to use in conversation.
This inner critique not only makes it difficult
in the moment, but most INFJs will relate to the
habit of overthinking certain replies and gestures
that they made in previous concentrations..
sometimes to the point of driving themselves mad.
INFJs are hard on themselves by nature due to
their perfectionistic and empathetic tendencies,
so it’s easy for them to get caught in the trap of
overthinking how they and their actions are
perceived by others. The fact of the matter is
that most INFJs are actually great communicators,
or atleast much better off than they think.
INFJs must make sure to give themselves some grace
to recognize the good things that they’ve said
Once they begin to cautiously recognize the
positives, it makes it all that much easier
Well PSYCH-Os, that’s it for today. So, would
you say you have poor, average, or top-tier
communication skills as an INFJ? Let us know in
the comments below! Also, make sure to leave us a
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